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Authors Posts by Melissa Kirkpatrick

Melissa Kirkpatrick

Melissa Kirkpatrick
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Melissa Kirkpatrick is a Transformational Coach and Motivational Speaker. She’s been featured in Cincy Magazine , CincyChic online magazine and is the author of the impactful self-help book “5 Steps to Your Own D.R.I.V.E.” Melissa offers one-on-one services, motivational speaking and hands-on workshops, allowing individuals and teams to shift their drive from stuck to unstoppable. To learn more, visit http://www.findyourowndrive.com or email missy@findyourowndrive.com.

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It’s not easy to navigate today’s uncharted waters, especially with little ones. Our life coach columnist share four important tips for smooth sailing ahead.

I read a meme the other day saying “August – we buying school clothes or more alcohol” and although it offered a chuckle my heart was feeling the impact of what schools will look like if they do open back up this fall.

Watching parents on social media sharing their day-to-day and how they are navigating the situation of quarantine has many being challenged beyond what they ever imagined.

For the kiddos, I felt it was important to share my thoughts about ways you can support them during this time of confusion, uncertainty, and life interrupted: Focus on what they already understand and know to be true.

Talk about what needs to be talked about. Teach them how important it is to have a strong and healthy immune system and how eating nutritional foods, drinking water, and taking vitamin supplements will boost their immune system. Speak about germs, proper hand washing, etc., in a way that can support their personal hygiene practice but not to lead to being a germaphobe.

Encourage the excitement around the “new normal”. You are home together like a vacation.  Discover new ways to entertain.  Clean out closets together, look at photographs, build blanket forts, go outside – spend time being a kid yourself. Let the kids be creative and explore new ways of having fun.

Be a good finder! Sleeping in and getting up late. No rushing out the door for school and work. Doing homework without interruption. Having time to do the things you did not have time to do before. Being happy, healthy, and together.  And during the sit-down meals offer a moment of gratitude – what brings you joy?

Teach and demonstrate faith.  Keeping things as close to normal as possible.  Avoid news and computer time that may impose unnecessary concern for kids to be overloaded with the fear and drama. Monitor your conversations when kids are around.  Remind them this is only for a little while longer and soon things will be back on track.  

Yes, we are living in uncertain times.  As an adult what you are hearing, feeling, seeing, and believing is being projected out and absorbed by your family. You are being impressionable with your actions and body language. The more you can release the fear by replacing it with love, the more you will be able to manage your emotions especially around your kiddos.

Chose love over fear and remember — “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe.”

Sending Love & Light,

Melissa

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Mantras are those little praises on repeat in our mind that shape thoughts and reality. Our life coach columnist shares how to see if yours are empowering or self-defeating.

Mantras are magic! You use them all the time in your thoughts and while speaking.  The question is are they mantras that are empowering or self-defeating? You may be surprised how often you are reinforcing what you don’t want, and getting more of that, when you could easily redirect by using conscious language to create something better. 

Reba McEntire has a song “I’m a Survivor.” It was the intro to her sitcom “Reba” that aired in the early 2000s. The lyrics have a powerful message of a women overcoming her circumstances.  The story the lyrics deliver includes great mantras that can serve you in a time of feeling life is a struggle and appears to be defeating your efforts.

Begin with the words …” heart of a fighter, I’m a survivor” from the song.  When faced with circumstances that are either a fight or flight, not only claim you are a fighter add AND I am a survivor. 

The lyrics also says “the baby girl without a chance – a victim of circumstance. The one who ought a give up, but she’s just too hardheaded!”

Your mind is where the fight begins.  That hardheadedness is where you get to control the fear that wants to run the script and begin to let go of fear by rewiring with love. Yes, the opposite of fear is love.

The energy that you exchange with your thoughts is where the secrete sauce lies.  You may be experiencing things that seem impossible to get past or even find a solution. Allow the fighter inside to draw the line in the sand and say “No More!” and be open to new possibilities, solutions, and survivor tools.

Whether you are internally fighting with unhappiness, stuck in a job you don’t like, struggling to make money and pay your bills, one-sided relationships, health, or illness, start with strengthen your desire (your why) to overcome with mantras that tell a love story of you surviving. 

Supporting my mom during her battle with breast cancer (three times in fact), I witnessed a strength like no other. Her will to live was stronger than the alternative and she kept the mantra “I don’t have time for this” – and she is “a survivor” turning 87 this August.

Mantras are magic! Use them to for your greatest goods and take with you Reba’s ending words “I must have had my mamas will and Gods amazing grace.”

Sending Love & Light,

Melissa

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You’ve heard of of Galentine’s Day, but what about Maletine’s Day? Our life coach columnist examines the universal roles of deeper connection and visibility, despite differences.

Men, can you see a Maletine’s Day in your future? Would pics of you and your male friends celebrating friendship over brunch, photographed, and posted on social media be something you would say YES to?

Yeah, probably not.  

On a 2010 episode of “Parks and Rec,” in which the main character, Leslie Knope, decides that the day before Valentine’s Day should be an opportunity to celebrate the platonic love among women, ideally with booze and breakfast food known as Galetine’s Day. Since the episode aired, the fictional holiday has caught on in the real world.

The desire for men to engage in this form of visibility and deeper connection may not be on the radar.  

From a recent presentation delivered by me on Visibility and Deeper Connections for Entrepreneurs, the conversation turned to how that might relate to your personal life. Of course, I believe and teach on how you do one thing is how you do all things, so the two are connected.

For men, the gap is how to relate to another man at a deeper level to where you can be open and share with empathy and compassion, and with no judgment. Growing up the programming didn’t allow for men to learn how value arelationship like the women who were always talking about longtime girlfriend connections.

I get it. AND I also see how men are the first to lose friendships over time when business and family get in the way of those “nights out with the boys” become less frequent to slowly fading as only a memory.

Working with my clients, I find that if you are not making time for visibility and deeper connections, then you are missing the opportunity for more to be available in your life. The practice of engaging and connecting may lead to much more then you may realize.  For instance:

1. You are top of mind when someone needs help because of the relationship you have built over time
2. You may live longer by being out and having a good time feeding your soul with laughter and fun
3. You learn from others as well as teach others – the winning friendship
4. You discover there is more going on around you then you may have ever noticed
5. And, when your older you’ll still have those buddies to go on retirement trips and hit the links or bars or both (no judgment) instead of setting alone in the recliner watching reruns of your favorite 1980s TV shows.

Start now in reaching out, or reconnecting, to others making those deeper connections and being visibility for your souls’s sake. And do not wait for the Maletine’s Day to begin for I don’t feel that will actually become a “holiday.” 

Sending love and light,

Melissa

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Business ownership is never easy, especially not lately. Feel like you’re stalling out, stuck and ready to quit? Our life coach columnist has some motivating advice.

Are you a woman with drive, who owns or operates a business, with big goals and dreams, and yet feels as though you are stalling out, stuck and ready to quit?
Sound familiar? Let’s unlock your feeling of stuckness and move you to unstoppable.

Feeling stuck can often arise at times when you are gearing up and ready to grow and expand your business. Perhaps you are going after more clients, looking for new projects, increasing social media traffic, and yet the feeling of overwhelming comes in and stops all forward progress. Ugh!

What’s happening? Let’s explore for a moment.

Whether you own a brick and mortar, run an MLM or online business, or a partner in a firm, your focus is on how to grow and be a successful business owner. When this isn’t happening fast enough or in the manner you would desire, what’s the problem?

You may have all sorts of reasons for not moving ahead as you wanted, but perhaps the big underlying obstacle is you forgot your why.

Sure, you have that deep desire to create an opportunity from a place of passion and purpose, while believing in yourself to be successful, but WHY did you say yes? What I know for sure is the one thing that can unlock your uncertainty and catapult your business to the next level is revisiting your WHY.

Why did you start your business in the first place?

Simon Sinek, author, and Tedx presenter, on Start with Why demonstrates how “why” brings great leaders to inspired action. “Many already know what and how they do something for their business but the power in WHY is the purpose for the cause or belief.”

When you forget the WHY is when you start falling into the number’s games, interruptions occur, shiny object syndrome kicks in, or perhaps you feel like quitting because of what “others” are doing is better than yours.

Flip the switch and get back to your why. Write out the story and be specific with details including emotions and feelings. Tapping back in and recalling what made you say YES.

Activating your why allows you to drop back into the passion and purpose of doing business, especially when you are feeling stalled or ready to quit, that drives you from stuck to unstoppable.

Sending love and light,
Melissa

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As we enter a new month, and new normal, our life coach columnist offers tips to start living life with more purpose.

Hello and Welcome Monday, June 1, 2020. This year has certainly brought some new ways of living in the world. As you continue to navigate your life, today be encouraged to step back, and take a closer look at the first five months of 2020. How have you introduced new ways of living your life by design, and on purpose, with what you are experiencing now?

What have you discovered in this time of quarantine and stillness?

Are you looking at things in a positive way? Can you find the goodness?

Although it wasn’t intended to have a global pandemic, this time of social distancing has offered all of us a time to pause and really get clear on what’s new in how you manage your time, your choices, your priorities, and your life moving forward out of quarantine.

Allow me to offer a tool for you to consider as you being to create from this moment forward. The act of learning and understanding a practice of holding a positive energetic vibration, where focusing on joy and happiness, allowsyour spirit to trust that everything is working out for your highest and best good.  

If that feels like a struggle, then I encourage you to use the mantra “out of this situation only good will come” and believe it is so.  

When I learned how to hold a positive energetic vibration over a decade ago, it was a life-changing experience for me. I could pause and look for the goodness inside of any situation that was uncomfortable, felt bad, or just made me feel sad, I would seek out the answer to what it was I needed to know in that moment that would serve me moving forward with happiness, raising the energetic vibration.

In this moment, as a starting point for you, realizing just how precious life is and how the excuse you are too busy can be shifted fully into engaging in the moment.

Start there and find all the good things, not only about yourself but the others that you live with, family members, the people that you work with, and the world in general. Once you learn to shift into the positive vibration, no matter how small, it will bring light into your life to where you can navigate any obstacle with flow and ease from a place of joy!

Sending love and light,

Melissa

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As we ease into life with the new normal, our life coach columnist shares three tips to begin your next chapter.

Today we pause for the American holiday Memorial Day a time for remembering and honoring the men and women who died while serving in U.S. military. Many Americans visit cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades on this day. And, unofficially, it marks the beginning of the summer season.

How symbolic that we are emerging and blossoming out of quarantine at the same time we celebrate the opening of summer. However, the excitement we once felt around this time may have you still concerned about the virus. COVID 19 came in like a wrecking ball and turned the world upside down without any notice for preparation. 

Summer is the time of year you enjoy the outdoors and sunshine, but since quarantine, fear has taken root because of all things unknown or understood. 

Many will go with gloves and mask for protection and begin the journey to finding ways to navigate this new way of living in the world while others will wait and watch.

And although we don’t have clear evidence it’s safe, allow this message to help find some peace to being enjoying without the fear.

First, avoid all the thoughts and ideas you are concocting in your mind that are the doom and gloom. I know it is not easy, and it is what has served you in the past. If you really think about all the things you worried about over time only a small percentage actually happens, and not in the way you had manifested in your mind’s eye to begin with.

Next, celebrate in a way that lifts the vibration and energy around being a “good finder” (always striving to find the good), believing there are things to be learned and new ways of living your life. Move forward enthusiastically by shifting out of the fear and into “out of this situation only good will come; I am safe.”

And, be in nature as much as possible.  Soak up the sun by swimming, boating, glamping, and golfing, or take up gardening or hiking with family and friends.  

Lastly, set the intention to start with new summer trends and include those traditional ones of backyard barbeques and family gatherings where the memories are being made and traditions start. Think about a world beyond the scarcity. What do you want the story to be and how will it light you up? Meditate on that and it shall become. 

Sending Love and Light,

Melissa

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As businesses start to open again and some sense of normalcy resumes, our life coach columnist explains how it can be the prime time to shape your best life.

One thing that has been evident during the pandemic is how simplifying life has moved us all closer to our most natural state. There are far less selfies on social media, no exotic excursions, who’s-who events or fancy nights out. In addition, the use of virtual meeting rooms has opened us up to a new way to being business professionals. No stately offices or wining and dining at impressive business lunches. It’s just you.

How are you navigating the simplicity and stillness in your life? Are you finding a balance? Perhaps you are anxious to get back to what you once new as “normal.” Yet, deep down you know it will not be the same normal you once experienced.

Looking at what has change for you personally may include your personal self care. Little, or lack thereof. 

Are you finding wearing makeup does not seem to be nearly as important as it once was? Has your hair color taken a drastic change during this time? Maybe the real color, which you had forgotten, will be your new look? And who knew those leggings would get so much attention.

Oh, and when you get ready to leave the house, do you know where to find your bras?

All this is true, and yet I personally feel there is a reconnection to ourselves and source when we tap into self care as a human being. The stillness feels natural in the sense we all get to breathe. The quiet on the outside helps us hear the whisper of our inner voice.

What if the real need in all of this is to just be in your own state of au naturel? No use of filters, no polished presence on social media, no longer hiding your vulnerability, fear, and scarcity. Getting back to the basics of living your life from a place of gratitude, acceptance, and loving what is?

Before jumping back into the next chapter of life from the pandemic I offer you the opportunity to really take inventory of what you learned, discovered, and received from the quarantine. What’s truly worth jumping back into? What you will change and do differently, and what you are willing to let go of that once felt so important but no longer serves?

See yourself as that caterpillar transforming into the beautiful butterfly. Open those wings wide and today start living the next best version of yourself. From out of quarantine you have arrived in your true and au naturel state of being.

Sending Love and Light,

Melissa

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Our life coach columnist explains how diving into something artistic can reduce stress while also helping you discover more creativity, productivity, and fulfillment. 

Are you a lover of the Arts? Branches of the arts includes painting, sculpture, and architecture, along with music, theater, film, dance, and other performing arts, as well as literature and other media. What is your interest? You might have to think back a bit to when there was more time and less inhibition to explore the arts.

Music has always been a passion of mine including singing and playing the piano. I played for high school choir, children’s choir for church, and for several weddings many decades ago. My passion faded over time when I began filling my mind with self-help learning and letting music go to the wayside.

Interesting though, since being in quarantine, I am finding myself listening to more music and being back at the piano tickling the ivories as they say. Not playing at the level I once did (practice makes perfect) but just playing for fun and I realizing how much joy and happiness it brings me to play.    

What I realized is music has an impact on the spirit. Listening to music has a magic connection that allows you to be on the frequency of an energetic exchange and vibration that shifts something within, where you will discover more creativity, productivity, and fulfillment. 

From this awareness, I encourage you to set back and tap into a time when you felt so connected and aligned with the magic of the Universe through an art source you would lose time doing that very thing. 

Revisit what that felt and looked like for you. Embrace thosefeelings. Allow what is and all the emotions that are attached to that time and space to come through. Be in gratitude.

Now consider bringing that art form back into your life. Maybe you need to buy some paint and brushes to create that masterpiece or fire up that karaoke machine and sing your heart out, or perhaps you can sign up for acting lessons.  Whatever moves you in art form, do that — Nothing is off limits.

And as you engage with the frequency, know you are awakening the creative muscle to spark the energy you desire to open to those things that light you up. Bring back the magic through the art form you have let go to the wayside. Isn’t it time to revive that creative muscle and fall back into the gifts you’ve been given?

Sending love and light,

Melissa

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Whether you’re a mom or not, our life coach columnist has advice and helpful tips for how to nuture yourself with some motherly love.

This time of year, we celebrate Mother’s Day, the one who gave us life and those who have taken the role as a mother through fostering, adopting, surrogate or blended – a mother is the center of our life source, the heart that beats in rhythm with the soul, and provides unconditional love.  

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had.” —Linda Wooten

In today’s message, whether you are a mother or not, I want to shed light on how you can be the mother of yourself, your soul, your life.

Nurturing, caring, loving, and supporting are characteristics of being mothered. Allow yourself to consider the ways that you might be mothering you. Are you being gentle and kind with yourself. Do you take time to rejuvenate or reset. How do you talk to yourself in the mirror? What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for yourself?

This can look different in many ways but perhaps it is just beginning by doing the things that you love to do without permission from anyone but yourself.

Take a bubble bath, read a book, sleep in or take a nap, watch funny movies, call a friend and talk for hours like you used to, read old love letters, clean out a junk drawer rear causes you stress, and just be open to what you might find and discover, go fishing, golfing, ride your bike. The list is endless. Whatever “taking time” for you looks like – do that!

And if you don’t know where to start, I recommend a book by Louise H Hay “You Can Heal Your Life.

An excerpt from the book is “Life Is Really Very Simple. What We Give Out, We Get Back. What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and our feelings. The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences.”

Today, embrace what is and be open to mothering yourself so you can shine your light for others. The work begins with you. May you find the love, compassion, and kindness your soul seeks so you can live the best life now. 

Sending love and light, 

Melissa

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Our life coach columnist shares a simple technique for lowering stress, releasing the overwhelm, and regaining a sense of calm.

If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. If you don’t take time for your wellness, you will be forced to take time for your illness. Many expressions like these seem to be overlooked and misunderstood until you, or someone you love, becomes ill and not well.

Although you look and feel healthy, how often do you ignore those little signs by thinking of all the reasons it’s nothing? Or you notice it but are too busy to take time to have it checked out. Oh, and maybe it just gets ignored by self-medicating with ibuprofen or perhaps alcohol or other substances? 

You may think I eat healthy, drink water, and get exercise so I’m good.  And that’s awesome. However, your health isn’t just about what you eat, drink, or how you move it, although that is important, better health is achieved when you can manage stress along with mental and emotional symptoms.

How can you offset those feelings and emotions when they become too much? I discovered “grounding” of my energy allows me to connect with the mind-body-spirit in a way for releasing much of the overwhelm.

Here’s my practice for grounding.

Begin by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position. Closing your eyes. Using your mind’s eye beginning at the top of the head and slowly begin to scan your body. See light coming in from the top of your crown and allow it to flush over each part of your body starting with top of the head, the forehead, eyes, check, jaws, etc. moving down the body in this manner. If you can hold the vision all the way down to the end of your toes, sending love with all the light, your body will feel a subtle release of stress, anxiety, and be calm and stable. 

If at any point you start feeling uncomfortable or notice darkness wants to come in instead of the light be curious and ask “what do I need to know” and breath into the area that has caused you to pause during the mind scan.

Continue to do the process until you feel complete. Use this anytime you need to collect your thoughts, release stress, or a quick re-energize. Think of grounding as medicine for your soul. 

And remember, it’s one thing to have your health and another to be well. Your body is a magnificent machine. Day after day the body works in ways you could never fully explain or understand, but doing your part by taking the time to love on it often is key. 

When you have your health, you truly have everything! Be well. 

Sending love and light,

Melissa

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