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Authors Posts by Melissa Kirkpatrick

Melissa Kirkpatrick

Melissa Kirkpatrick
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Melissa Kirkpatrick is a Transformational Coach and Motivational Speaker. She’s been featured in Cincy Magazine , CincyChic online magazine and is the author of the impactful self-help book “5 Steps to Your Own D.R.I.V.E.” Melissa offers one-on-one services, motivational speaking and hands-on workshops, allowing individuals and teams to shift their drive from stuck to unstoppable. To learn more, visit http://www.findyourowndrive.com or email missy@findyourowndrive.com.

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Our life coach columnist explains how today's new deep clean way of life can go for mental wellness, too.

Go GREEN! An environmental decision to “reduce, reuse and recycle”. Have you ever stopped to consider that your thoughts, actions, and past could go green? There is a technique I have been using for a long time myself and with my clients and I want to share it with you. Want to play?

I know it sounds like a big stretch so consider this:

If you think about how you tell a story over-and-over again it becomes repetitive, and when it’s a good story there’s no problem. But what happens when you have those stories that keep haunting you because what happen isn’t what you expected or even desired.  Then you find yourself playing it over and over like a broken record hoping there is a silver lining – when there’s not.

Those haunting stories can now be reduce, reuse or recycle into time and space.

Let’s Play:

Close your eyes and think about the event, situation or circumstance that you no longer want to haunt you.  With your eyes close, imagine a bubble out in front of you.  It may be gold, pink, white, whatever color you like best. 

Then allow the bubble to move towards you to the point you are inside the bubble. This is your protective gear for when you begin the “go green” process.

While in the protective bubble, recall what you want to release, have it clearly in your mind, take a deep breath and then breathe out with force for the air to penetrate through and outside the bubble through a small hole.  As the air releases through bubble say:

“I now release “this story” to the Universe to be reduced, reused, and recycled over time and space. The story no longer serves me, and I am willing to release it with ease. I am safe.”

Repeat the process until you feel you are no longer haunted by the event, situation, or circumstance. Note this may take some additional practice but as you become more aware of how to release what no longer serves you the process will become easier and easier.

Once you feel you are complete with the process, seal up the hold in the bubble and go about your day.  When the thoughts come back up know the bubble has you protected, and you can say “I am safe”. 

Sending you Love and Light,

Melissa

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Bloopers - any time in life, not just big moments like a wedding - are funny to some, and traumatic to others. Our life coach columnist explains how to work through the pain in precious moments.

Have you ever found yourself watching those videos of wedding receptions “bloopers”? The throwing of the bouquet and everyone is sliding and falling all over, or the drunk relative trying to bust a move on the dance floor. Or what about those wedding cakes that hit the floor before they are ever cut. 

As fun as they are to watch, this stuff really happens, unfortunately, and a memory is created that is shared for a lifetime. 

Much like the memory that is created, some will find it funny while it haunts others. Others may have not given it another thought since the time of the event.

How do you manage memories that bring you an uneasy feeling of “if only” or “why” flood of emotions that you felt in the moment and cannot seem to shake the memory to the point it has a tight grip on your thoughts?

How can you release this memory? Or keep it from haunting you? Consider asking these series of questions:

– Is thinking about this experience serving me?
– When I think about this experience am I uncomfortable and sad?
– What if I could no longer think about this experience?

If you are ready, then begin by recreating the story as if you are writing a chapter in a book and providing all the details related to the moment in time when this happened. Then read the “chapter” like you are seeing it for the first time.  

Imagine being in a movie theater, eating popcorn, and watch the characters play out the story. When it’s over, imagine the movie credits coming up on the screen and when THE END appears, burn the pages! And as you do, laugh and sing releasing it to the Universe to be recycled over space and time, so you no longer carry the memory. (if you have sage you can burn a piece of that with the pages.)

And by the way, the other characters in the story are probably not even thinking about that moment.  It’s you who has kept it alive all this time in your mind and now it’s time to let it go.

Need additional support message me.

Sending Love and Light,

Melissa

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Spring is a time for rebirth, new life and emerging from that winter slumber. Our life coach columnist has five ways to help.

All signs point to spring being on its way. And I don’t know about you, but I am super excited to begin planting seeds both in the ground and in my life.

Last week we spoke about Winter Blues, so this week let’s get ready to release those winter blues and spring into what’s next for you.

Spring is such a powerful awakening in so many ways. Not only for the planet but also for you personally – a perfect time for new growth and new beginnings. The flowers come alive, trees are budding, and the color of brown is now awakening to green. And you are awakening to longer days, warmer temperatures, and infinite possibilities for you and the future.

Take a closer look at what the change of season into spring may offer for you. The opportunity to begin again, have a fresh start, or maybe a do-over. Take a close look at all areas of your life including health, money, relationships, spirituality, and perhaps your career. If you’ve been feeling stuck or stalled in any area this is time to begin again. Think of one area that you really want to focus on and create a “plan” to move forward. Here aresome ideas to spark your focus:

– A new wellness program to begin to reclaim your healthfor longevity and vitality

– A savings plan for home renovations and/or redecorating

– Reaching out to a friend you’d like to reconnect with and catch up

– Hiring an organizer to help you get your office finally out from all those piles of paper and the clutter

– Plan a summer vacation to somewhere you’ve always dreamed about going

Start by taking some form of action because that will bring more opportunities and clarity you may not see in the moment. What better time to begin then in this magical time of spring while excitement, happiness and joy is in the air with another new birth of infinite possibilities.

The time is now for you to step fully into the next best version of yourself — Find Your Own DRIVE and go from stuck to unstoppable.

Sending you love and light,

Melissa

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Our life coach columnist talks about friendships — making the best connections and how to maintain the relationships healthiest for you.

Connection! We all have a strong desire to be connected, included, a part of something — and friendships are no different.

The relationship girls create starts early in life and if you’re lucky it will last well into your adult years. Also, there are girlfriends who can and may be seasonal in your life.  

What if girlfriends aren’t your thing or simply don’t have anyone you can call friend?

Seek and you shall find.

Finding others to develop a friendship with can come at any given moment.  When attending meeting and events if someone you are around brings you joy, raises your energy level, and has value in conversation, perhaps that person is someone you want to begin nurturing a friendship. Inviting them to coffee or lunch to have conversation which can open the door to a new friendship.

If it’s someone that gossips, complains, gives off a negative energy then this probably isn’t someone whom you want to build a friendship.

You get to decide.

For those who have girlfriends be sure they are still offering value in your life.  It’s okay if you have outgrown the relationship.  It might be time to start pruning away those who do not serve in a higher way or it could be time to start nurturing those relationships even deeper.  

Jim Rohn said, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Be sure to consider this with your friendships.  Look at the top five “girlfriends” you spend time with and ask yourself if they still bring you joy.

Most importantly, when you engage in the relationship be sure and be nurturing, caring, give-and-take, love, and lots of laughter, all while cherishing every moment. That’s all!

Sending you love and light,

Melissa

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Feeling a little sluggish this season? Read on as our life coach columnist explains why hibernation is essential to rejuvenating the body, mind, and spirit.

If you find yourself being less active this time of year, it’s OK, really. Give yourself permission to be in an inactive state during this time. AND be sure to plan for what’s next so you can actively engage in the planning.

As a transformation coach I support others to live a life by design because you make it happen. The key part here is YOU make your life happen…by design!

This time of year, many things are dormant including you. Do you find yourself less engaged in designing and planning, and more in conserving energy, resting, and less active or energized?  

If so, then what if you take this time to consider being in hibernation of rejuvenating the body, mind, and spirit, knowing when spring arrives you will ready and excited to get active in ways to live your life by design?

Here are a few ways you can utilize the remaining time of winter in preparation for what’s next.

1. Create a choice list (not a to do list) to discover all the things you desire to be, do, or have for yourself in business and life.
2. Clean out a closet (or two) and remove anything that no longer serves you. Don’t second guess, let it go. The less you keep of those things that don’t bring you joy the more joy you will hold. 
3. Map out a year-in-a-glance calendar. List each month and decided what you want to accomplish in each month. For instance, 
• March – be more active by finding an activity that gets me moving a minimum of 10 minutes per day. 
• April – launch a new promotion for business to increase sales. 

This quick glance will set the stage for aligning your desires and how you want to make things happen so you can begin being more active in your life and living by design. You’ve got this!

Sending you love and light,

Melissa

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Our life coach columnist explains the key steps to wrapping up the year and starting the next decade as your best one yet.

Holy wow can you believe we are closing in on the end of a year and decade.  How fast time goes especially as you age.  What will the NEW decade offer you? Have you found time to reflect on the last decade? Do you find you are still striving to be, have, and do all those things you said you’d do last year?

You are not alone.  We all find ourselves trying to create our lives to the fullest and yet time slips away, situations and circumstances come up, or we just don’t feel good about doing anything.

That’s what I have been seeing a lot with my clients and I created a Masterclass around this topic.  After some deep thought and consideration, I felt VISUALIZATION was where it all begins.  Seeing is believe and that’s were our thoughts become our reality.

Many have used vision boards to create their next best self and life. Vision boards are great IF you know how to create them effectively and use them correctly.  Yes, there is a right way.

Two things with a vision board is the frequency you are on at the time you create the board and the action steps you’ll take following the creation.
Vision boards are not pasting a picture on a board and bam that will be coming to me next week — or next day if it’s Amazon Prime. You may want to believe that that’s how vision boards work and when you don’t get the results you call BS and don’t attempt it again.

What if the vision board you created was beginning to bring into your life something you desired and had on the board but needed more time to really get what you want? Like planting a seed in the ground and digging it up just before it burst through the soil.  Patients and believing is where the magic ignite the outcome to what you desire or something better.

Seems so simple and yet so hard.  If you’d like to learn more about visualization and vision boarding before the new year, join me on the Facebook Live training on my business page Monday, December 16 at 3 PM/EST – findyourowndrive.com/masterclass

Creating your life by design is so much fun when you can tap into the tools, tips and tricks that ignite the magic.  Looking forward to supporting you on your journey to leveling up your life in 2020! See you soon.

 
 
 
 

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While they’re magical for many, the holidays don’t always bring comfort and joy. Our life coach columnist offers five tips to help you over holiday hurdles.

Are you in the super excited celebration mode, ready to party like it’s 1999? Or perhaps you’re more of a bah-humbug kind of person, consumed with anxiety and stress this time of year?

The holidays are here, ready or not! And everywhere you look, there is the feeling of magic twinkling in the air. Decorative lights, illuminated trees and the hustle and bustle has begun! The excitement has us believing in the magic and childlike excitement for what’s next as we near the celebration of Christmas and the New Year 2020. 

And yet, for many, you may find this time of year to be challenging.  It brings on the sorrow of lost loved ones, the fear of not accomplishing enough in life and business as another year comes to a close, and sometimes, a general unsettled feeling of not being enough, as the pressure to have a perfect holiday season sets in. 

With all these complex emotions as an undercurrent running through you, you might discover that your best go-to survival tactic is to bottle up anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and put on a smiling face around others.  After all, you don’t want to acknowledge your feelings and emotions around those who seem to have it all together.

I am all too familiar with this feeling and navigating the emotions can be challenging.  You feel like crawling into bed and pulling the covers over your head until the ball drops at midnight. And if that feels good for you to do, then do that!

For myself, and others I’ve worked with, here’s what I find helpful:

  • Be okay with your feelings.
  • Go to places that bring YOU joy.  
  • Read a book or watch a movie that offers laughter and comfort.  
  • Make dates with your closest friends and talk about something other than the holidays.  
  • Schedule a time for some pampering and self-care (my favorite).  

Don’t be so focused on making everything special for everyone else that you forget to get your own needs met. Take the time you need and if you feel you need additional support to shift the bah-humbug into cheer let’s connect. ‘Tis the season to by jolly and my wish is this message resonates with you and today is the tipping point into seeing how you can navigate this time of year with ease. Sending love and light this holiday season.

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Our life coach columnist has a special message for all the working mamas out there, and three things that helped her most when she was in the thick of it, too.

All the emotions that come with being a working mom from “am I doing enough, how can I juggle all of the needs of my family, or how can I show up fully in my greatness?” among other things running rapidly in your mind on a daily basis.

For my family, I’ve always worked. Even when I enrolled in college at age 30 to earn my teaching degree, I worked full time, went to school full time, and attended all my boys’ school and sporting events. Challenging and fulfilling because I created a plan so I would be fully emerged in each moment.

Here’s what allowed me to focus and manage the role as mother, wife, businesswoman, home and finance manager daily:

Quality Over Quantity

You know that feeling when you lose track of time because you are so engrossed in the moment that time stands still? Children want that feeling when they are with you. Even if it is for a brief moment be sure to fully engage in the moment as if time stands still.  The other things can wait, promise.

Schedule Non-Negotiable Time

You know your work schedule and what needs to be done, so block time in the schedule for the kids including things like play dates, outings, or just sitting in their room reading and playing.Allow them to choose what they want to do and just go with it.Have fun and laugh often.  

Love Unconditionally by Filling Your Own Cup

Refuel and rejuvenate your own energy.  Again, plan for time to get that bath, a trip to the spa, out with girlfriends, or taking a nap (when they nap).  Filling your cup brings calmness and love which is spilled over into your child’s life. They just want you to hear them and see them so taking care of you first will open your eyes, ears and heart to be fully connect with them.

Lastly, remember, no matter how tired and frustrated you feel, this too shall pass.  Time moves quickly and before you know those children are adults and they will only remember how their working mom was there when they needed her most.

PS – If no one has told you lately — You rock, Working Momma!

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Our life coach columnist shares three tips to manage the awkwardness when spending time with family and friends during the holidays – or anytime throughout the year.

The holiday season is upon us, and I frequently get requests for extra coaching from my clients who want a strategy and plan to get through the holiday season. 

Yes, it’s time to spread our thanksgiving and gratitude for the season and spend time with others.  However, some gatherings, especially during the holidays, can be challenging and daunting, especially if you only see certain friends or family members once or twice a year, and have nothing in common.  

You may also encounter family gatherings that are stressful because some type of fall out among the family has occurred. This makes it really challenging to put on a bright smiling face and enter the room without feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

Sound familiar? You’ve been there? I have as well, which is why I’m providing you three tips you can practice during the upcoming holiday season (or, actually, anytime) to help release the anxiety and stress associated with gatherings.

1. Aren’t they cute – when you are listening to someone and they are sharing a story or talking about something that doesn’t interest you, or maybe it triggers you, simply think inside your head, “Isn’t she/he cute”, and smile. This is a simple but very effective way of deactivating the lack of interest or trigger.  It gives you a different perspective and can offset your desire to say something you might regret.
 
2. Interesting – this is one word that can end a conversation without having to explain or defend yourself. It has no positive or negative indication; just neutral. When someone says something that triggers you, and you want to blast back, pause and simply say, “Interesting”, and stop at that. Nothing more to say.  If they ask, “What does that mean?”, you can repeat, “I just find it interesting –that’s all.” Then, exit the conversation by going for another bite to eat or seeing someone across the room you want to speak with and excuse yourself.
 
3. Eat the popcorn (metaphorically) – often when you are around a group, you will hear others  gossiping. If you’re not able to move away from the conversation and you don’t want to be included but don’t know how to be removed, envision yourself in a movie theater watching the big screen and eating popcorn.  What you’ll discover, is that listening is more powerful than adding to the conversation. You won’t create an abrupt departure that could cause additional gossip but you won’t be caught up in conversation in which you’d rather not participate.

There you have it. When you find yourself in the middle of holiday gatherings, these three ways will help you interact with folks during those awkward holiday gatherings with more ease and confidence. Give one or all three a try. And, if you feel it’s just too much to even go, give yourself permission to decline the invitation unapologetically. Happy Holidays!

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Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Melissa explains how to bring your goals (and energy to get started on them) out of hibernation.

As we are officially moving into the holiday season so let the festivities begin. With Thanksgiving right around the corner and quickly followed by Christmas and New Year time begins to slow day. For many, it’s the time of year for reflection. The colder weather and darkness falling earlier you may find yourself in hibernation mode. No need to do anything and just begin thinking about your new year’s resolutions and what you have or have not completed or accomplished over the past 11 months.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today was a statement that took me time to really understand. I get it do it now but why can’t I wait until tomorrow? 

A couple of reasons! One you may not be here and two you want to start now creating your future. By waiting you are only delaying what you truly desire and want. You keep putting it off to where months have passed, and you still can’t understand why you’ve not received what you said you wanted.

How can you begin to start today towards your goals rather than waiting until tomorrow and why?

Here’s my best advice:

– Setting the desire in motion today will allow you to reap the benefits and results faster.  Like the seed being planted in the ground.  The earlier it is planted and nurtured with sunshine and water the faster you will reap the harvest.
– Excitement builds when you know that every day in every moment you are working towards a goal that is going to change you and/or your life for the better.  When those tiny wins show up daily it will keep you moving forward and looking for the results knowing they are building upon one another. Before long you’ve gotten the results and thrilled with the outcome.
– Course correction is important when putting things in motion.  Much like a plane or a boat having to course correct constantly otherwise it will veered off into the wrong direction and miss its destination, your course correcting allows to see daily what’s working and what’s not.  If you feel things need to change you can make those decisions now rather than getting months into your goals and realize it really isn’t going as planned.  Having the opportunity to course correct can get your there faster and get the results you desire.

And when you learn to start each day by feeling into your heart what you truly desire and want to have, you can create a business and life that you love by design.  It’s like magic and feels so good to the system. You’ll wonder why you didn’t do this sooner! So, I challenge you not to put off until tomorrow what you can do today!  

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