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A new project funded by People’s Liberty is helping new and seasoned Cincinnatians enrich their lives with hidden local gems.

The Welcoming Party is a new experiment that connects new Cincinnati residents to seasoned veterans.

Cincy Chic: What is The Welcoming Party?
Jeremy Mosher, Co-Founder of The Welcoming Party: The Welcoming Party is for anyone who likes people and wants to feel more-connected to the Cincinnati community. To be successful, this experiment will need very new residents to make themselves known as they look to find their footing — plus bunches of Cincinnatians who feel like they can help with that. There’s no magic length of residency required to be a “welcomer.” And, in fact, we think people of varying “tenures” will each have something different and valuable to share.

Cincy Chic: How does The Welcoming Party work?
Mosher: Interested parties declare their intention by responding to some survey questions. Based on those responses and expressed areas of interests, we link the recently located with a current Cincinnatian who is likely to have insight into people and parts of local life that will enrich the new resident’s experience here. The connections then meet up to talk about what the new resident might enjoy doing for a group outing with an expanded group – a bourbon tasting, karaoke, a book club, whatever. After the group hangs out a few times we host a party involving everyone who has raised their hand to be involved in the experiment, cross-connecting even more people. It’s kind of like a foil to a “going away” party.

Cincy Chic: How are you reaching out to new residents? 
Mosher: We are counting on word of mouth, personal referrals, and widespread sharing of our project. We would love to hear from the folks involved in corporate hiring and relocation. People in faith communities. Friends, cousins, and friends-of-friends-of-cousins who know someone relocating here. The more local residents who have antennae up for new Cincinnatians who might benefit from this, the more connections we can make.

Cincy Chic: Where can readers go to fill out the survey?
Mosher: The survey can be found here.

Cincy Chic: Where can readers go to learn more and follow along?
Mosher: Check us out at https://www.thewelcomingparty.com/. We’re also on Facebook and Instagram.

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How much is your fear and hard-wiring holding you back. Read on as Melissa explains how to get in the driver’s seat of your life.

 

Are you familiar with that voice that speaks inside your head wanting to offer you advise and suggestions to your decision-making process? The one that takes over and has you doubting and fearing what direction or action to take? Or continues to remind you after a decision made and it didn’t go as planned with a reminder of “I knew it was a bad idea.”

Allow me to introduce you to your ego who drives the mind and thrives on fear-based decisions. I like to greet ego/fear with “Hello FEAR I see you!” This is the fastest way to begin opening your thoughts to what is really causing the fear.

Where does this fear come from? Your programming! What’s programming?

When you arrive on the plant you are as pure and innocent as it gets. Your mind is like a new computer with no data except for the hard drive ready to receive input. And that it does.  Programming comes from everyone you encounter and from all the environment you are exposed to. 

As you grow older you begin to weigh your thoughts and ideas against others, and realize you have an intuitiveness (feeling) that supports your decisions best for you and not what others believe.

The ego often wants to steal the show and remind you all about what you should or shouldn’t be doing when you are trying to make the best decision.  This is what becomes that inner struggle.

Fortunately, the magic in all of this is AWARENESS.  When you can really stop in your tracks and say hello fear/ego I see you and ask that it please take the back seat, this allows for you to drop out of the mind and into your heart and gut space.  

This is the place where you’ll find the solutions and answers that releases the struggle and strife and brings the joy and happiness you desire when making decisions.

My journey when I realized how much I was dependent upon what others thought and how making decisions were based on their advice, I knew it didn’t always make me feel happy or joyful with some of my decisions.  I realized over time I often went along with the crowd just to fit in and would struggle with the decision until I made a change using my own intuition of what’s best for me.

When I discovered I could make better decisions by quieting my mind and releasing the voice (aka fear/ego) from the conversation in my head, and drop down into my heart and gut, I was unstoppable.  I was making solid decisions without any hesitation or regret going from stuck to unstoppable. 

So, I challenge you now to get back to your “au natural” state of mind, opening your heart and gut, and listening for the answers and feedback YOU seek – and not what others think!

Begin your practice now to really work on trusting in your own beliefs and thoughts.  From there you can create a life by design because you hold the value and trust from your own knowingness. And those desires of what you want to have, be, and do will come with living joyfully – unapologetically.

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For nearly a decade, this local market has been bringing together indie crafters, designers, artists, DIYers, and other creatives. See how you can get insider info on their next event!

Cincy Chic: What is Crafty Supermarket?
Chris Salley-Davis, Founder of Crafty Supermarket: Crafty Supermarket is Cincinnati’s oldest indie craft fair featuring regional makers from Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan and beyond. We focus on makers who identify as indie crafters, designers, artists, DIYers and other unconventional makers creating original handmade goods.

Cincy Chic: What’s the inspiration behind it?

Salley-Davis: The idea of Crafty Supermarket was hatched nearly ten years ago after seeing other cities with active indie craft and maker scenes. Cincinnati seemed to have a lot of makers but they were not networking in Cincinnati. Big indie craft shows like Renegade Handmade were starting to pop up in cities like NY, San Francisco and Chicago. After touring around the country my musician husband, I wanted to bring makers together in my backyard so I started hatching a store concept that later became Fabricate (now closed) and dreaming of an annual fair.

Cincy Chic: Who’s behind it?

Salley-Davis: I started a maker night called BYOProject to try to find makers in Cincinnati. This is how I came across Alisha Budkie and Grace Dobush who were also thinking about starting an indie craft fair. They were a little further down the indie craft fair path since I was focusing on my shop but we merged forces initially ran Crafty Supermarket together. Budkie left in 2011 to start Rock, Paper, Scissors which later became Indigo Hippo. Grace Dobush left in 2016 when she moved to Germany to work as a freelance writer. We all still stay in touch.

Cincy Chic: When did it launch?
Salley-Davis: Crafty Supermarket launched in November 2009 with just 20 makers at the Northside Tavern.

Cincy Chic: What makes this event unique?
Salley-Davis: There are a lot of great indie maker events around the city like City Flea, Art on Vine, the Off Market and more. We were the first. I’m so glad makers have so many opportunities to reach customers through these events that have grown over the years. I think Fabricate and Crafty Supermarket helped make this scene happen. I don’t think we can take all the credit for sure but I’ve had so many makers tell me that we started their career and made them feel like their dreams of being an artist was possible beyond the traditional gallery or designer track. We focus on makers and strive to give new artists a chance to vend each show, saving plenty of spots for our Cincinnati favorites while bringing a variety of regional makers to our awesome city.

Cincy Chic: Where can readers go to learn more and follow along?
Salley-Davis: Our most recent event was May 11 at Music Hall. Next up is the holiday Crafty Supermarket event. For daily maker teasers, follow us on Instagram and find our event on FB, our website also has a full vendor list.

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A locally owned coworking space just announced its second expansion and other major benefits (pssst that’s a hint).

1628’s Founder and CEO, Tamara Schwarting

Co-working is the office of the future and 1628 Ltd. wants to offer its clients the amenities of a modern office space combined with the backdrop of an inspirational art gallery.

“Our goal is to remove the chaos from the day so members can focus on their work,” explains Founder and CEO Tamara Schwarting. “1628 offers daily, weekly, and monthly passes for individuals who need coworking flexibility, without a long-term commitment.”

There are multiple core offerings from 1628, which include:

●      Private offices, dedicated desks, and communal coworking for individuals and teams

●      Daily, weekly, and monthly access to our coworking space with no long-term commitment

●      6,000 sq/ft available private events and business meetings.  With 8 conference rooms and 2 large-scale rooms with open floor plans, 1628 can accommodate groups of all sizes from 2 to 200.

Here’s an idea of who might be interested in working at 1628:

●      Independent workers and entrepreneurs without a HQ or home office

●      Fortune 100 & 500 companies looking to establish a presence in Cincinnati with the flexibility to scale operations before committing to commercial real estate lease

●      Vendors or clients of companies who need access to a business center to stay productive while in Cincinnati for business

●      Individuals traveling to Cincinnati for business or leisure during the work week who need to plug-in and stay connected

●      Anyone who needs an office oasis to provide inspiration to bring big ideas to life

 

Schwarting was inspired to launch 1628 Ltd. following a 15-year career at P&G when she opened her own consulting firm. It was then that she quickly learned that there were very few options available to meet with clients, and coffee shops and other public places aren’t always the best place to do business.

 

“I was familiar with coworking from the East coast, but very few options existed in Cincinnati,” she says. “After doing market research, I decided to open a coworking space that would meet my needs and other independent professionals in a similar situation.”

 

The concept behind 1628 Ltd. began in late 2015 before 1628 Ltd. was formed 9 months later, and then opened for business in late 2016.

 

Since it first opened back in 2016, 1628 Ltd. has already expanded twice, with this second expansion expected to be completed in late summer.

 

The new office is located at 11 Garfield Place in the historic Doctor’s building. 1628 Ltd. currently occupies 13,000 square feet of space on the first and second floors, with the expansion moving up to the third floor.

 

Schwarting says that the expansion is about more than just offering new space for clients.

 

“Where you work should work for you and at 1628, we strive to make sure we’re putting our members and guests first as we continue to evolve and meet the needs of a modern workforce,” she says. “We’ll bring the same visual aesthetic to our newest expansion – think posh boutique hotel with all the amenities you expect in a modern office.”

Once the expansion is complete, 1628 Ltd. will offer 25,000 square feet of coworking space. “In addition to this, we just announced this week that we’ll be expanding our members’ services to offer HR benefits through TriNet,” says Schwarting. “The benefits available through this partnership are typically only offered at Fortune 500 companies. We’re excited to bring healthcare and HR benefits to our members, especially as access to quality HR benefits are not often available to small businesses due to cost.”

To learn more about 1628 Ltd., visit 1628ltd.com or follow along on Instagram<https://www.instagram.com/1628ltd/> and Facebook<https://www.facebook.com/1628ltd/>.

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Our life coach columnist offers insight on a recent Brene Brown book, the concept of belonging, and how sharing art can transform people.

Photographer: Lauren Pusateri

Brene Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging” she shares: “Art has the power to share experiences and transform despair into hope... and art has the power to transform something or someone when it is shared. When people share art, it becomes a whisper to that person: “You’re not alone.”

 

What does this mean for you?

I share this with you because I want to challenge you to look in the past to those things that you enjoyed doing when you were younger that involved a form of art that you no longer do. Then visualize yourself doing the activity and see how the passion or desire may still live within. 

Does it light you up to recall this time and place?

As a young girl, my passion for the arts included painting, photography, calligraphy and playing the piano.

I would watch endless hours of Bob Ross on PBS creating those amazing landscapes, I was the pianist at many recitals, choirs, and weddings, taking pictures endlessly, and writing poems in calligraphy.

When I read Brene’s book, the connection to belong resonated in a way that I didn’t realize.  The power and impact of being able to perform through an art is truly a sense of belonging. I haven’t considered my artistic pastimes in a long time and was intrigued about the rediscovery of my gifts after reading the book.

During my personal work around self-care I started to recall those things that brought me joy and realized I had stopped all those artistic pastimes.

I reactivated my gifts by attending a few local painting classes, pulled out music books and began to tickle the ivories, photographed some amazing sunsets and wrote a poem in calligraphy.

The magic in revisiting these simple tasks, of something I once did endlessly, is now transforming me back to a younger version of myself.

Now I ask — Why did you stop?

Is it that you just didn’t have time? Is it just not as exciting? Maybe you don’t believe you’d like to do it anymore.

From my experience, if you allow those passion for art to resurface, you begin to align your heart with something only you knew to bring you pure joy and happiness.  As Brene says it “art has the power to transform something or someone.”

Self-care can transform you in many ways by resetting your mind, raising your vibration, enhancing your mental attitude, and just simply offering pure joy and happiness.  

Give yourself permission to find things that bring you the same feeling you had when you were younger. This feeling is never lost, just quitted and fads over time, but when you can allow it to rise again, you will discover how passionate you are and the love you hold through art and know “you’re not alone.”

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While the cast is something to cheer about, does this film squander its talented stars on a clichéd comedy that disrespects the demographic it's trying to celebrate? See what our critic has to say.

“All right ladies … Let’s get to the climatic inspiring dance number or we don’t have a movie!” Martha (Diane Keaton, center in the “M”) leads her fellow retirement community friends in a dance routine in a scene from POMS. Credit: Kyle Bono Kaplan © 2019 STX Financing, LLC. All rights reserved.


WATCH THE TRAILER(S) HERE:



 

 

 




KEY CAST MEMBERS: Diane Keaton, Jacki Weaver, Pam Grier, Alisha Boe, Phyllis Somerville, Charlie Tahan, Bruce McGill, Celia Weston and Rhea Perlman 


DIRECTOR(S): Zara Hayes
 
THE BACK STORY: Martha (Diane Keaton) is a woman coming to grips with her own mortality, which, given her health, makes sense. It’s also why after conducting an estate sale, she’s heading to a seemingly idyllic Sun Springs retirement community in Georgia to spend her final days in peace and quiet.


Then she meets her neighbor Sheryl (Jacki Weaver) and realizes that’s not going to happen.


Forging an unexpected friendship with Sheryl, Martha comes up with an idea – since she’s required to join or create one by her new community’s bylaws – to form a cheerleading club. This leads to Ruby (Carol Sutton), Olive (Pam Grier), Alice (Rhea Perlman), Phyllis (Patricia French), Evelyn (Ginny McCool) and Helen (Phyllis Somerville) joining their aspiring – or is that perspiring? – team, even if it is to the disdain of community activities leader Vicki (Celia Watson). And if Vicki has to pull out Chief Carl (Bruce McGill) to get her way, she will in a heartbeat. 


But after a video of Martha’s makeshift squad goes viral, they are faced with a choice: Give up on their dreams or prove that you’re never too old to show your spirit.
THE REVIEW: Poms isn’t a good movie, per se; it’s a sweet movie with a good heart and a few chuckles along the way. At 91 minutes, it’s short enough to sit through without feeling a strong urge to leave the theater, but it’s nothing you’re going to revel in. It’s nowhere near raunchy by any means to steer into ribald comedy territory, but it has enough anatomy related jokes that will be dirty enough for anyone who regularly dines at an Old Country Buffet or Cracker Barrel. Likewise, the movie’s pacing and story feels like a mix of a too tame for The Golden Girls but too hardcore for Lifetime or CBS, which, given all the sadness it shows in regards to getting older before attempting to salvage a genuinely uplifting, “nice” finale, Poms doesn’t seem to have a specific enough focus to make you feel the way you should.Then again, Poms isn’t really for anyone under the senior circuit – and that’s not a bad thing. It’s perfect palatable celluloid for daughters to take their mothers to or for seniors to enjoy as the characters (especially Weaver as the film’s resident sexpot/free spirit) are exactly like the members of your mom’s bridge or book club that may or may not exist. Poms isn’t trying to re-invent the wheel; it’s just putting a fresh batch of grease on the wheel to give it one last ride.

Weaver steals the show in Poms; Keaton is more or less the straight woman who serves to keep the movie moving forward. Her character mopes, suffers through bouts of vomiting and feels like she’s just a lady you feel sad for and sad to be around for the first half of the film; problem is, once things get going, you don’t care about her as much as you do how she will get the rest of her squad going as they are inherently more interesting … Even though your interest may never peak with a paint-by-numbers script saved only by the cast’s genuine enthusiasm for each other’s company. Alisha Boe and Charlie Tahan add some youthful exuberance to as Martha’s high school cheerleader rival turned coach and Sheryl’s awkward grandson add some much needed youthful exuberance (to the somewhat stale script, NOT the cast), but only in the way a grandparent is proud of them graduating high school.

And ultimately, that’s the main thing that hinders Poms: Instead of going for its full potential with a game-changing break from the routine, it gives you a safe one sure to please audiences who enjoy a nice, simple one they are used to. Poms will occasionally rub your funny bone, but you definitely won’t fall over laughing and will be able to get up and leave the theater easily once it’s done.

OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):

 
 

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In need of a perfect way to spend Mother’s Day? Check out this one-of-a-kind brunch artfully made with you and mom in mind.

Metropole at 21c Museum Hotel is hosting a Mother’s Day Brunch.

Mother’s Day is just right around the corner! On Sunday, May 12th, the 21c Museum Hotel will host guests and families celebrating mothers for a memorable morning. The venue is unique due to its inviting environment and open doors. “The 21c Museum Hotel Cincinnati and Metropole are cultural hubs where all are welcome. It does not matter how you dress, whom you love, or where you’re from, as long as we collectively appreciate the art of self-expression and acceptance,” says Iona Muir, Food and Beverage Director of Metropole.

This special Mother’s Day brunch will be full of love, food, and artwork.

“Guests are invited to peruse 21c’s newest exhibition before or after brunch located in the museum’s galleries, free of charge, open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The exhibit is called ‘Truth or Dare: A Reality Show’. Artwork will be featured addressing the importance of questioning both knowledge and belief, featuring works that utilize illusion to entice, entertain, and explore the terrain between fact and fiction, presence and absence, reality and imagination,” says Muir. 

Not only will attendees experience artwork, they will also partake in a brunch crafted by Executive Chef David Kelsey. “Our main takeaway we want guests to take away is how incredible our new Executive Chef is making out beautiful Metropole experience. David has continued to craft fresh, scrumptious meals that are both artistic and fulfilling. We hope that you come and experience on this very special day,” says Iona.

So what is on the menu? The brunch will consist of two courses, beginnings and entrées. Beginnings will serve light dishes including smoothie bowls, mixed lettuces, and caramelized onion soup, and more. The entrée course will include breakfast burritos, smoked salmon toast, biscuits and gravy and that’s just the beginning. Metropole will do its best to accommodate any dietary restrictions attendees have.

On May 12th, the morning will begin at 9:30am and conclude around 2pm. Each ticket will be $32, not including gratuity. “Reservations are filling up fast so please make sure to call and reserve your spot as soon as possible,” says Iona.

For more information, connect with Metropole on both Facebook and Instagram.

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From mommin' to her journey with personal and professional development, this Northern Kentucky-based new mom shares it all -- in HD transparency. Keep reading to tune in.

Chelsie Dallas is the Founder of Living Life in HD.

Cincy Chic: What is Living Life in HD?
Chelsie Dallas, Founder of Living Life in HD: Living Life in HD is a Facebook blog that I started in December 2018 in hopes to connect with and relate to others. Writing has always been an outlet that I love and so this blog allows me to not only do just that but also let’s me share this outlet with people who are interested in, and can contribute to, what I have to say.

Cincy Chic: What’s the inspiration behind it?
Dallas: The inspiration behind Living Life in HD is my sweet baby boy Hudson Daniel and how he has completely taken my life by storm in his short 11 months. I want to be transparent in not only being a new mom but in all things life. I want people to know that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, people are just hiding their weeds better. I want Hudson, as well as my readers, to know that life it going to be tough but there is always someone who’s been there done that and you will make it through.

Cincy Chic: Who’s behind it?
Dallas: My name is Chelsie Dallas. I am a 29 year old lifelong resident of Northern Kentucky. I am a wife to my amazing husband of 3 years, Zack, and, of course, a momma to my 11-month old son Hudson. We have two dogs and never a dull moment in our home.

Cincy Chic: What makes Living Life in HD unique?
Dallas: What’s unique about my blog is that it is real and it is raw. I truly write in high definition. I put no holds on what my blogs are about just because I think someone may or may not like it or agree. It is 100% organic and I think that people can appreciate that.

Cincy Chic: Is there anything new on the horizon for your blog?
Dallas: I would like to expand my blog into an actual blog spot. Putting it not only on Facebook but also extending it out into another outlet.

Cincy Chic: Where can readers go to learn more?
Dallas: Readers can ‘LIKE’ and follow my page on Facebook at https://facebook.com/lifelivinginHD/.

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As we reflect on Mother's Day, our life coach columnist explains how to "mother" your path and purpose to go from stuck to unstoppable.

As a mother myself, this time of year is truly a time to reflect on the moment when hearing those words “you are going to be a mother” – an announcement that changes one’s life forever. 

The joy, excitement, anticipation, along with fear, doubt, and all other emotions, swirl endlessly around in the mind. And upon your face a smile that has a magical glow, and a heart so full it couldburst, as this new life begins for both the mother and child!

However, is this announcement always with happiness, delight and joy? Sadly, there are times when a pregnancy isn’t planned, it happens unexpectedly, and changes the course of one’s life forever.

And how about the relationship with our mothers? Not always sunshine and rainbows? And for some they don’t even have a relationship. While others are so strong in the connection nothing will tear them apart.

Now, let’s switch gears.  Consider this:

– How are you mothering yourself?

You are the mother of your life’s journey and you have more strengths then you will ever know.  Whether you are physically creating a human life or creating your life by design and on purpose, it all begins from within.  

For me “mothering myself” was when I learned about self-love and self-care practices.  I didn’t realize how much time I was spending taking care of others, until I found myself not taken care of me.  I used alcohol and food to go numb. It allows me to take off the “responsibility” hat and put on the “who cares” cap.

Simple self-care can include quite time alone innature, a spa day, bubble bath, a run/walk in the neighborhood and my favorite watching a series on Netflix all day long in my bed with no guilt or interruptions.

And for self-love take today an honor yourself as the mother of your life – speak with your higher self and be in gratitude with everything that is yours and what you created.

I challenge you to Be the Mother of Your Life providing all the love and care you deeply desire from this moment forward. 

To all the Mothers out there — This time of year,we celebrate YOU, the one who gave us life and those who have taken the role as a motherthrough fostering, adopting, surrogate or blended– a mother is the center of our life source, the heart that beats in rhythm with the soul, and provides unconditional love.  “Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had.” —Linda Wooten

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In Dennis Quaid's latest film, a happy couple buys a beautiful home in the country only to find out that the previous owner refuses to leave. Is the flick a flip or flop? Read on to see.

 

“I love to cosplay – in fact, let me show you my favorite scene from The Shining!” Charlie Peck (Dennis Quaid) forces his way into his former home in a scene from director Deon Taylor’s thriller THE INTRUDER. Credit: Serguei Baschlakov. © 2019 CTMG, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


WATCH THE TRAILER(S) HERE:

 

KEY CAST MEMBERS: Dennis Quaid, Michael Ealy, Meagan Good and Joseph Sikora

DIRECTOR(S): Deon Taylor

THE BACK STORY: Imagine being in love and finding your dream home. Well, that’s what’s happening for Annie (Meagan Good) and Scott Russell (Michael Ealy), which is why they can’t wait to move in once the home’s former owner Charlie Peck (Dennis Quaid) is out. Charlie has grown up in the home and as the story develops, it becomes clear that he doesn’t seem to really be ready to no longer be its owner and caretaker, let alone have anyone else fulfill those roles. 

Thus, as Annie and Scott are about to find out, a house is not a home when the previous owner isn’t ready for anyone else to take it over. 

THE REVIEW: Forty-seven minutes in. That’s when I began contemplating should I walk out of The Intruder or not. Which is a problem given that (a) That’s not the thought I’m sure the film’s cast and crew wanted anyone to have watching the movie and because (b) There’s at least another 50 minutes of the movie left from that point.

Let me be brief: The Intruder is bad. Like, really bad. I could spend a long time picking apart all the things wrong The Intruder … And since the filmmakers felt compelled to make to put them all out there for the world to see, I might as well break it all down for the world to see as well in hopes they chose NOT to suffer the same fate I did.

In 2019, any man with any common sense is not going to spend time discussing Megan Good’s appearance as even saying that she is an attractive woman seems like a way to open yourself up to a host of criticism. However, watching The Intruder, her character’s sweet, seeing the good in everyone nature comes off as naïve to the point of being well, stupid or, to put it nicely, about as smart as the average non-ethnic teenager in an 80s horror movie. Is this progress that an African-American lead can come off as smart as a woman running in high heels or doing her best Bryce Dallas Howard impression? I don’t know; what I do know is that Good’s character feels like she was stolen from a bad Lifetime movie. I don’t mean the modern ones, I mean the ones that comedians used to make fun of before Lifetime got hip to its own foibles.

Ealy tries his best to come off as the somewhat smarter of the two – which one could argue makes Good’s character look even worse by comparison since her male counterpart is the one “smart” enough to see what’s happening” – but in doing so he comes off looking like exactly what his character fears: The man who can’t keep his lady safe. In an era where beards and tattoos reign supreme, Ealy’s character’s intellect actually comes off as his potential downfall. But that’s only because of the man who makes The Intruder a horribly bad-yet-so-bad-it’s-borderline-comedic-genius of a movie.

Quaid. Dennis Freakin’ Quaid.

There have been plenty of movies that actors have admitted they did for the most ludicrous of reasons. Michael Caine in Jaws 4. Morgan Freeman in London Has Fallen. And the less said about Nicolas Cage’s reported love of dinosaur bones. Hell, Cedric the Entertainer admitted to me in an interview I did for a revered-yet-now-deceased publication that he did the utter-debacle that is The Cleaner because he got to take his family on a nice vacation to Hawaii. While I await the interview where Quaid reveals why in the world he did THIS movie, his performance is so ridiculous that it deserves its own documentary or, at the very least, a mock ESPN 30 for 30.

As it comes to pass in The Intruder, Quaid’s character is given a reason for his bonkers behavior; given the events of the film, one can’t help but wonder if Quaid himself may be suffering from a similar fate for him to be involved with this utter debacle of a film. (Maybe this article could give some possible explanations?) But BOY OH BOY does Quaid go all in as Charlie Peck.

In one of the greatest over-the-top performances not seen since the aforementioned Cage’s turn in that nuclear waste of a remake of The Wicker Man, Quaid’s performance finds him twitching, shaking, clenching his fists … And doing the craziest sexual thing you may ever see him do in a film that could change how his fans see him forever. Let’s just say I’m sure this man approves of a scene that is sure to become a meme or .GIF if not both in the near future. I cannot – repeat, CANNOT – give you enough detail as to how insane Quaid’s performance is. If he’s not a Razzie nominee, he might deserve an Academy Award as he might be the best Marvel villain to never chase after Infinity Stones, Wakanda or try to stop a teenager from thwarting his plans to take over New York City. (You watch the movie and tell me you can’t help but think what Quaid might have done as Venom. Sorry Tom Hardy.)

Throw in a script that could NOT be more predictable with direction that could NOT foreshadow what’s going to happen more unless the director literally told you and The Intruder is the type of film you watch to go talk to the screen. The Intruder‘s best shot for success won’t come in theaters, however, at least not for a while – for director Deon Taylor may have created an experience that, much like Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, needs to be experienced with others to enjoy as you talk, laugh and make fun of it.

If this were an episode of House Hunters, it would definitely be the episode you wouldn’t want to miss. Unfortunately for Good, Ealy and Quaid, it’s supposed to be a thriller – which is why the fact this movie will intrude on audiences’ wallets this weekend is a travesty in and of itself.

OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):