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It is said that men seek intimacy through sexual relationships and women seek sexual relationships when they feel intimate. It seems like a perfect fit if it goes well. When sex and intimacy are connected, they improve the connection. It’s like ying and yang. 

Without a sexual connection, a loving couple is just two friends. To have an intimate relationship without sex would usually suggest that the couple is plagued by illness or one partner isn’t romantically interested. Even elderly couples can have a strong sexual relationship.

We often misunderstand what sex means. Unlike what President Clinton asserted, sex includes each physical connection from romantic kissing to sexual intercourse. It is a way of expressing our emotions to the other person.

Don’t ignore the fact we are sexual by nature. If it was not for the need for physical intimacy, companionship and procreation, we would stay single and our species would have already gone extinct. Even for the very religious among us, it was God who created us in a way that made sexual intimacy very pleasurable.

Sexual intimacy goes far beyond meeting someone and having sex. It includes taking the time to know your partner’s interests and needs. This includes physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual connection.

What are your needs when you connect?
• Do you like someone who is kind or intense?
• Someone who is funny or athletic?
• Are you interested in a person who has a career or who is close to his/her family?

Answering these questions helps you consider your priorities in a relationship.

Sexual intimacy starts with physical touch. Foreplay or Sexplay includes a series of behaviors designed to prepare our body and our mind for physical pleasure. Intimate Sexplay begins with verbal and non-verbal communication that allows you to know this can be a great time to connect.

It also includes being sensitive to your partner’s needs and desires. Saying, “Do you want to get your freak on?” gets your desire for physical intimacy, but it is neither intimate nor caring.  Knowing when and how to approach your partner is part of becoming sexually intimate.

Sharing a glass of wine in a romantic setting, complimenting the person, putting your hand on their shoulder, leg or arm are intimate ways of beginning sex. It also gives the other person a chance to reciprocate. This way you know if you have mutual interest. If this beginning leads to caressing and hugging it might not be long before you both have your clothes off.

How do you know the difference between sex and sexual intimacy? Consider the following questions.
1. Do I enjoy this person’s company inside and outside of the "bedroom"?
2. Do I feel like this person reciprocates pleasure?
3. Do I feel like this person knows and likes me?
4. Do I feel like I know and like this person?
5. Do I feel like we have a connection emotionally?
6. Do we have things in common beyond sexual attraction?
7. Could I enjoy a week with this person without sex?
8. Do I believe that my partner could enjoy a week with me even if there was no sexual intimacy?
9. Is this a mutually exclusive relationship when it comes to sexual intimacy?
10. Do I feel like I can trust this person with my feelings?

These 10 questions should help you to know if you are in a sexually intimate relationship. If you answered no to any question, you are not in an intimate relationship.

Sex without intimacy will be not more successful than intimacy without sex. If you want a long term, healthy, sexually intimate relationship, you need both. To be able to sustain both in a relationship you must find mutual values and respect plus another component that will be addressed in a later article.

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Watch for the reports at 5:15 p.m. on Channel 5, or come here to read the reports!

 

Five Things September 20: Post Summer Skin


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The Brave One
Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard, Nicky Katt, Naveen Andrews, Rafael Sardina, Jan Adams, Mary Steenburgen

 

The brave one? Is it brave to recover from a savage beating that leaves one emotionally debilitated? Is it brave to be consumed by remorse and try to return to life as it was before the brutal attack?

These are a few of the questions the movie “The Brave One” poses as Jodi Foster portrays a woman left abandoned and for dead after she and her fiancé are viciously attacked in Central Park in New York City.

“The Brave One” also asks questions about justice in a system that is under staffed and overworked. What recourse do victims have in seeing reparation for crimes that befall them? How long does one wait for the capture and conviction of violent criminals? How legitimate is it to take matters into one’s hands to send the message: WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!

This is the story of a mild mannered radio host of a “public radio” show. Prior to her attack, Foster brings an almost whimsical portrayal of a carefree woman in love. It is only when her world is uncontrollably shattered that we see Foster doing what she does best. She brings depth and raw pain to her character’s violent ordeal. Her character propels her disillusionment and rage into action as a vigilante.

In a Hollywood world, we can appreciate Foster’s portrayal of a broken woman driven to right terrible wrongs. We cheer the demise of criminals who have crossed a line one too many times in her presence. We relate to people’s collective frustration for a judicial system that adheres to standards, rules and procedures.

A solid supporting cast complemented Jodi Foster. Terrence Howard gave a convincing performance as a soft-spoken detective assigned to work the cases of the vigilante. An unlikely alliance between the two develops. Both want justice. Howard works within the system and Foster works a system bound only by her rules. Nicky Katt played Howard’s wisecracking younger assistant with great aplomb. Mary Steenburgen and Jane Adams as Foster’s friends offered stable performances.

As compelling as this movie was — it somehow felt manipulating. In our own lives, if under similar circumstances, would we do the same? Would we risk our freedom to become like the violent creatures that harmed us in the first place? Is that kind of action, truly, what makes a person “The Brave One”?

Rating: Three Chic Stars

Jan’s Movie Rating System:
5 – Top notch entertainment
4 – Compelling, Heartwarming, Thrilling, Comical
3 – The a) story b) actors c) special effects saved/made this movie.
2 – If you are bored watch it, or wait for DVD
1 – Don’t bother. Too morose, too violent, too blasé, an enigma.

 

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Finally! The hot summer days have ended and it’s now time to enjoy some beautiful Indian summer fall days! What else could be more appealing than to spend a weekend at a fall festival enjoying some apple cider or browsing all the arts and craft booths? These festivals stretch from Covington all the way up to Dayton, Oxford and Circleville.

Mark your calendars, because you know how it fills up fast, and we're not even factoring in high school football, volleyball and yard work, which you'll have to fit into the mix somehow. Enjoy!

SEPTEMBER
OHIO RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL (now through Oct. 21): Recreation of a 16th century English village with costumed performers, jousting, period foods, stage shows and more than 130 craft shops, from 10:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays through Oct. 21.
Location: Renaissance Park, Ohio 73, Harveysburg. Cost: $16.99 adults, $9.99 children 5-12, free for children 5 and younger, plus $2 parking.
For more information call (513) 897-7000 or visit renfestival.com.

APPLE DAZE
(Sept. 22-23): Hayrides, barnyard, corn maze, face painting, live music, crafts and food, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sept. 22 through 23.
Location: The Hidden Valley Fruit Farm, 5474 N. Ohio 48, Lebanon.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (513) 932-1869.

MASON ARTS FESTIVAL (Sept. 23): Performing artists and food vendors, children's art activities, student art display, food and more from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sept. 23.
Location: Mason Municipal Center, 6000 Mason-Montgomery Rd., Mason.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (513) 573-0007.

MIAMISBURG STARVING ARTIST ARTS FESTIVAL (Sept. 8-9)
Exhibitors, entertainment, children's activities and more from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sept. 8 and from noon to 5 p.m. on Sept. 9.
Location: Library Park on Ohio 725, Miamisburg.
Cost: free.
For more information call (937) 426-3539 or visit www.miamisburgstarvingartists.org.

OCTOBER
MIDDFEST INTERNATIONAL (Oct. 5-7): Celebration of the art, culture, music, dance, history, food and more featuring the Netherlands from 6 to 10 p.m. Oct. 5, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Oct. 6 and noon to 8 p.m. Oct. 7.
Location: One Donham Plaza, downtown Middletown. Cost: $5 adults, free for children 12 and younger.
For more information call (513) 649-4506 or visit www.middfestinternational.org .

DAYTON'S OKTOBERFEST
(Oct. 5-7): International foods, fine arts and crafts, kid activities, family entertainment and more from 7 to 11 p.m. Oct. 5, preview party from noon to 11 p.m. Oct. 6 and from noon to 7 p.m Oct. 7.
Location: Dayton Art Institute, 456 Belmonte Park N., Dayton.
Cost: $40 members, $50 nonmembers for preview party in advance, $75 at the gate, $3 adults in advance, $5 adults at the gate, $3 senior citizens, $1 ages 7-18 advance, $2 ages 7-18 at the gate, free for children 6 and younger.
For more information, call (937) 223-5277 or visit                    www.daytonartinstitute.org/events/oktoberfest.html.

FORT ROWDY GATHERING (Oct. 6-7): Mountain man encampment, trade demonstrations, crafts, food, games, live entertainment, parade (10 a.m.) and more from 10:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. Oct. 6 and from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 7.
Location: Covington Community Park, U.S. 36, Covington.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (937) 473-3420 or visit www.fortrowdy.org .

OHIO CIDER FESTIVAL (Oct. 6-7): Hayrides, barnyard, corn maze, face painting, live music, crafts and food from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 6 and 7.
Location: Hidden Valley Fruit Farm, 5474 N. Ohio 48, Lebanon.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (513) 932-1869.

OHIO SAUERKRAUT FESTIVAL
(Oct. 13-14): Sauerkraut foods and creations, arts and crafts, live entertainment, games and more from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Oct. 13 and from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Oct. 14.
Location: Main St., Waynesville.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (513) 897-8855 or visit www.sauerkrautfestival.com .

CIRCLEVILLE PUMPKIN SHOW (Oct. 17-20): Parades daily (3:30 and 8 p.m.), contests and entertainment, pumpkin foods and more from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. Oct. 17 through 20.
Location: 159 E. Franklin St., Circleville.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (740) 474-7000, (740) 474-8973 or visit www.pumpkinshow.com .

CAESAR'S CREEK PIONEER VILLAGE HARVEST FESTIVAL (Oct. 20-21): Enjoy the harvest time back in the 1800s with soap making, apple butter making, candle dipping, hearth cooking and more from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Oct. 20 and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Oct. 21.
Location: Caesar's Creek Pioneer Village, 3999 Pioneer Village Road, Waynesville. Cost: free.
For more information, call (513) 897-1120.

NOVEMBER
SUGARPLUM FESTIVAL OF TREES
(Nov. 9-11): Sponsored by Dayton-area Twig groups to benefit Children's Medical Center featuring designer theme trees, children's activities, crafts, Sugarplum Shoppe, breakfast with Santa and more from Nov. 9 through 11.
Location: Dayton Convention Center, Fifth and Main streets.
Cost: free.
For more information, call (937) 641-3405 or visit www.childrensdayton.org .

CHRISTMAS IN HISTORIC SPRINGBORO (Nov. 16-18): Christmas music, strolling musicians, children's area, food, crafts, horse-drawn trolleys, parade (noon Nov. 17) and more from 6 to 10 p.m. Nov. 16, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Nov. 17 and noon to 5 p.m. Nov. 18.
Location: South Main Street, Springboro.
Cost: free.
Visit www.springborofestivals.org for more information.

 

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Cincy Chic: Where do you work and what do you do there?
Bonnie Deer:
I work for the Cincinnati Branch Office of the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). The Mission of the SBA is the help small businesses start, grow and succeed. I am a business development specialist, women business owner's representative, lender relations specialist and the SBA answer queen! Basically, our office educates small business owners, lenders and other resources that provide services for small business owners about the SBA's programs and services. The SBA not only has loan programs, but we also have business consultants available. In addition, we can provide assistance in "Doing Business with the Government" along with many other services. The Web site at www.sba.gov has information about all our programs and services including online training classes.

Cincy Chic: How did you find yourself in this line of work?
Deer:
I began my career as a bank teller in 1969 and was given positions with increasing responsibilities. I became the first female assistant vice president of commercial lending for Bank One of Middletown. I specialized in government financing, which included processing Farmers Home Loans, the State of Ohio 166 Program and, of course, small business administration Loans. So when a position became available for the SBA in Cincinnati in 1992, I sort of "jumped" over to the other side of the process. It was an easy transition since I already worked with everyone in the office while in banking.

Cincy Chic: Tell us about the event that you have coming up…
Deer:
We have the Key Business Resources for Women Event upcoming on September 27th at Techsolve, 6705 Steger Drive, Cincinnati. As I had previously mentioned, the SBA has numerous programs and services and we work with all types of resource partners to help small businesses not only to start, but to grow and succeed. This is a very unique event because we will have 45 business specialists available that day at one time and one place. Each attendee will be given the opportunity to have a 10 minute private introduction with the specialist of their choice. They will then have an opportunity to schedule follow-up appointments to discuss "their specific business needs." These business specialists are from a wide variety of sources including lenders, government procurement, WBE Certification, benefit coordinators, marketing, unique funding and more! Additional information including registration is online at: www.swcoptac.org/Events/womenBusResources092707.htm.

Cincy Chic: Aside from work, what do you enjoy doing?
Deer:
Don't even get me started about talking about my Horses! My husband and I own a mini-ranch (five acres) where we reside with our five horses. We enjoy trail riding and we usually have a foal every year. This year we had a Palomino Tennessee Walking Filly who's now five months old and she's a cutie.

Cincy Chic: What's your favorite thing about Cincinnati?
Deer:
All the different types of things to do from sports, eating out, entertainment, etc.

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Watch for the reports at 5:15 p.m. on Channel 5, or come here to read the reports!

 

 

 

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Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Money

Look here for past Five Things stories involving money and personal finance. More

 

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Relationships

Look here for past Five Things stories involving relationships, ranging from friendships to marriage.More

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Family

Look here for past Five Things stories involving family and children.More

 

 

 

 

'

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Health

Women's health

Look here for past Five Things stories involving women's health and fitness.More

 

 

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: House And Home

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Hello Cincy Chic readers! In lieu of a movie review this week, I would like to suggest that readers take advantage of live theater here in Cincinnati.

Often times, those very movie stars you enjoy seeing on the big screen began their careers and continue to cultivate their craft by participating in live theater.

We here in Cincinnati, are fortunate to have a plethora of venues available and a variety of themes, stages and talent that are unsurpassed!

To begin, we have the nationally acclaimed Fifth Third Bank Broadway Across America series bringing us “Wicked,” “Annie” and “My Fair Lady” to name just a few. These productions are held at the Aronoff Center downtown on Walnut. For ticket information: visit www.broadwayacrossamerica.com/groupsales.

For those with an adventurous taste in theater you may want to check out New Stage Collective’s “Songs from an Unmade Bed,” which is detailed on the NSC’s Web site: “In February 2007, NSC collaborated with the Know Theatre to present the regional premiere of a genre-defying evening of theatre that is part one-man play and part chamber music concert but all about the pajamas. “Songs from an Unmade Bed” features NSC Producing Artistic Director Alan Patrick Kenny at the piano and singing 18 songs exploring the ruminations of a gay man living in New York City, looking for lust, love and loneliness and rarely finding the right one at the right time.” Catch the show on Sept. 14 through 22 on North Main Street. Call (513) 621-3700 for more details.

Other renowned venues that are reliable sources of distinguished theatre are: the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, currently featuring “Romeo and Juliet, the Playhouse in the Park featuring “Dracula,” and the Ensemble Theater of Cincinnati showing “Rabbit Hole.”

There are other live performances all around Greater Cincinnati. This column does not even begin to cover the many performing arts centers that exist locally. Yet, if you would like further detailed information check out CinStages.com or info@etastart.com.

Entertainment, expression, creativity and a healthy respect for the arts are ours for the taking! Check out local, first rate offerings from Know Theatre, New Edgecliff, Falcon Theatre, Covedale Center for the Performing Arts, UC’s College Conservatory of Music, The Mariemont Players and Northern Kentucky University. Also be on the lookout for tickets and information concerning the annual Christmas show presented by Showboat Majestic known as “Frosbite Follies.”

And now the best piece of information for those discerning, discriminating and ever adventurous Cincy Chic readers: If you never have tried live theater or perhaps you always go to the same venue; you can now try a free performance at one of seven theatres offering free pairs of tickets in October.

The League of Cincinnati Theatres is participating in a national theater development program designed to attract new audiences. On Oct. 18, seven area theatres will be offering free performances with tickets. You can reserve one set of tickets beginning at 10 a.m. Oct. 1 at www.freenightoftheater.com. On Sept. 10, a complete listing of shows will be available at the site.

Treat yourself to live theater. It is an exhilarating experience you won’t want to miss.

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Cincy Chic: How did you find yourself here in Cincinnati?
Marianne Breneman: Brian, my husband, and I came here from East Lansing Michigan in 1999 so I could attend graduate school at The University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music (CCM). After graduation, we both had opportunities here and we decided to stay. My chamber music ensemble called Conundrum, is a quartet of transplants to Cincinnati who found that the arts scene here was enough to stick around!

Cincy Chic: You have quite a diverse career… how did you come about owning a coffee shop when you were a full time professional clarinetist?

Breneman: We live in a developing neighborhood (the East End) where there aren’t many services available to residents. We met some neighbors who had moved here from New York City and we hung out a lot and one night after some cocktails, we decided that we couldn’t complain about things in Cincinnati and not help change them. The whole “what would you do if you could” discussion…so we did!

Cincy Chic: Other than your coffee and clarinet, what else are you passionate about?
Breneman: I’m really involved in fundraising and education about ovarian cancer. My dear friend from Michigan State was diagnosed in her early 30s and it was then that I realized how serious this disease is, how little attention it gets in comparison to other cancers, and how little information was available to women. Along with a wonderful group of women, we started various forms of fundraising and awareness events including a black tie event benefiting UC’s Barrett Cancer Center (where incredible ovarian cancer research is being done), we participated in triathlons and running events, we started an honorary fund for research in our friend Amy’s name with The Lynne Cohen Foundation, and more. The local chapter of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition is hosting The Walk for the Whisper 5K on Saturday September 29th at Lunken Playfield and I hope it’s a huge turnout.

Cincy Chic: How can people get involved in the upcoming 5k?

Breneman: You can walk or run, get pledges or not, bring your family, whatever! Forms are available at both Koka Coffeehouse and Koka Coffee Lounge, or you can register online at www.premierraces.com. More information about ovarian cancer and the NOCC is available online at www.ovarian.org. And since September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, this is a great way to raise your level of knowledge about the disease and to support the women who are dealing with it personally!

Cincy Chic: Back to your career – since you're a professional clarinetist and own coffee shops – how do you like your joe prepared and who do you idolize as a musician?

Breneman: I’m a decaf girl and I like a sugar-free vanilla skim latte!

I don’t know that I really “idolize” any musicians but I really appreciate diverse music and people who have handled their career on their own terms. I’m really into Pink Martini right now, I love Jane Monheit, and I think the Cincinnati Symphony is one of the best orchestras in the country – I just wish more young professionals would give classical music a try.

Cincy Chic: What's your favorite thing about Cincinnati

Breneman: I love the diversity of the arts scene here, I really appreciate the philanthropic nature of Cincinnatians and I adore Graeter’s!

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This Tuesday is the sixth year anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks, a day that forever not only changed America, but also forcibly awakened the dormant giant of national and global insecurity and uneasiness.

There are pros and cons to every situation, and because of 9/11, Americans are now, more than ever, aware of the world outside their own backyards. Locally, organizations have turned their focus global and local women are taking the initiative to make a difference in the lives of others across the ocean.

Women like this recent Cincy Chic  spotlight, Michelle Harbin. After a 2006 trip to a Romanian orphanage, Harbin's life was completely changed by the children she met. Harbin wanted to do something for the children and people of Romania who so dramatically impacted her life, "…I met the most amazing kids…I now believe in love at first sight. I fell in love with each of these children and was so grateful for having been able to catch a mere glimpse of their personalities." And so in honor and remembrance of her best friend Amy, who was limited in the number of children she could have due to cancer, Harbin founded Amy's Hope International, which creates channels for private orphanages in Eastern Europe to receive grant funding which in turn, provides a solid upbringing for the children with a focus on education, self-sufficiency and Christian faith allowing them to become contributing members of society. "…I wanted to give her all of the orphans in Eastern Europe!"

For Harbin, having a global focus ended up being more rewarding than she ever expected. "I gained so much more than I gave… [the Romanians]live in such meager conditions, below poverty level of any standard in the United States. Yet, I found myself wanting to be like these people and wanting to have what they have. I felt like they were so blessed…I was taught that material items are not the key to happiness."

"When people ask me how can you do something like this? My reply is simply this, 'How can I not?'"


Another woman who has taken the global initiative is
Cincy Chic's very first Chic Spotlight, Marissa Woodly, who we got to learn more about back in January 2007. When we first met Woodly, she was involved with Cincinnati-based Village Life Outreach Project , (VLOP), a non-profit, non-government organization that sends American volunteers to areas in east Africa to promote ideas of health, humanitarianism, service, and social responsibility to local villages.

Woodly believes that 9/11 was a stark wake up call that shattered the U.S.'s sense of invincibility and brought to light the global suffering that is so prevalent.

Since we last met with Woodly, she has left SmartMoney back in April 2007, and is now the development director of the Cincinnati chapter of Habitat for Humanity, which is focused on promoting economic stability in area neighborhoods by providing home-ownership opportunities for Cincinnati's low-income families. "We are building all over the city, but our parent organization, Habitat for Humanity International, is building all over the world!" Woodly says. "Our mission to build simple, decent affordable housing for those in need…is something I have truly have embraced."

Woodly is also still with VLOP, which has made tremendous strides in the life of one little Tanzanian boy. In June 2007, VLOP brought 4-year old Asubuhi back to Cincinnati for some serious medical help. Asubuhi suffered a severe scalp burn, for which VLOP had previously supported two skin graft surgeries but neither were successful due to his family's poor living conditions.

Because of VLOP and Shriner's Hospital for Children, Asubuhi received the life-saving surgery he so badly needed for his burn. Woodly reports that Asubuhi is in high spirits since the surgery and is almost fully recovered and even was well enough to celebrate his fifth birthday!

Thanks to VLOP's initiative and the attentive care he received at Shriner's, Asubuhi will return back to Tanzania and his family later in September, in complete health.

So what's in the future for Woodly?

"I have also been busy planning Village Life's first ever annual fundraiser at the Freedom Center on September 20th. (Find out more about the event here). "…the organization [VLOP] is growing and this is our first opportunity to share with the community at large our accomplishments, our goals and to thank the many folks who have helped and continue to make Village Life's work possible. I have been busy and loving every minute of it…but it's rewarding to feel as if I'm able to make a difference locally AND globally!"

VLOP will be returning to Africa in October for the second time this year.

Want to get involved with organizations that are making a difference in the lives of others abroad? Visit the following Web sites, to see how you too can open up your horizons…and your heart.

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Watch for the reports at 5:15 p.m. on Channel 5, or come here to read the reports!

 

Five Things September 5: Saving on Vacation







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Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Money

Look here for past Five Things stories involving money and personal finance. More

 

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Relationships

Look here for past Five Things stories involving relationships, ranging from friendships to marriage.More

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Family

Look here for past Five Things stories involving family and children.More

 

 

 

 

'

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Health

Women's health

Look here for past Five Things stories involving women's health and fitness.More

 

 

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: House And Home

Look here for past Five Things stories involving your home and its upkeep.More

 

 

 

 

 

Five Things Every Woman Needs To Know: Beauty

Look here for past Five Things stories involving beauty and hygene. More

 

 

 


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