Our life coach columnist talks about over the top behaviors this week and how to make a plan to gain control.
The dreaded negotiations you have with yourself that this time will be different. I won’t overindulge, overspend, or overconsume – I have total control.
Then it happens.
You’re invited to a dinner. You plan to limit your food consumption only to realize by the end of the meal you’ve consumed more calories than you had for the entire week.
Or perhaps you go to buy a new sundress for an event, and you end up buying an entire outfit with all the accessories from head to toe, tripling the amount of money you had wanted to spend.
Or one that I am most familiar with from the past is going to a party saying I’m only going to have a couple of drinks, to find out later you blacked out and missed half the party.
Ugh! Can you relate?
I refer to this as the dreaded “over-the-top behaviors” that occurs when you mask feelings of scarcity, sadness, guilt, shame and fear. The conscious mind just wants to go unconscious and numb out to the reality.
What I have discovered along my journey and in helping others, is to make a plan of action before going into the situation where you tend to get derailed.
Instead, allow yourself a moment to pause and create a mental image around what you want to receive from the experience –meaning what will you take away afterwards: the joy, happiness, the laughter, the fun, and how you will remember this evening for weeks to come.
Then allow a moment to release any troubles or worries from your mind by writing them down on a piece of paper knowing you’ll come back to them but for now you’ll set them aside for the time being.
The intention is to be able to create a plan of action so you can fully engage in the moment without repeating the same “over-the-top behavior.”
Staring from a place of this mindset will release the next day remorse, regret, or self -loathing. You’ll be glad you took the time to take action prior so you can feel happiness and joy that you controlled a situation that normally controls you.
And from this place of accomplishments and satisfaction you can now go back to the paper that you wrote your troubles and worries and begin to find solutions to those situations and circumstances. You’ve got this!