That Wedding Guy: So, You Just Got Engaged
Our wedding columnist takes you through what to do after that first tearful proposal to plan the happiest day of your life. Read on for the first steps of wedding planning.

Wow, thanks for all the kind e-mails regarding my first column! I enjoyed reading each and every one of them and am pleased to have been of assistance. I had a lot of questions come in and will try to get to them one by one, but this week, I thought I should help out Michelle K. Michelle recently got engaged and is at a loss as to where to start.

She writes:
Dear Wedding Guy,
The love of my life has finally proposed! And of course, I accepted. I'M ENGAGED! Now what?! I have an entire wedding to plan and just don't know where to start! What should I do?

Well, Michelle, let me just say congratulations! That's wonderful news. It is my pleasure to provide you with a fairly easy outline of the first steps to take towards creating the wedding of your dreams.

Here are steps to take (best taken in order provided):

1. Call your fiancé, and make sure he was serious. Be sure that he was sober when he asked, that he has met your family and most importantly, knows about your past and still wants to marry you.
2. Call all the mean girls from high school and rub it in their miserable faces.
3. Register for really, really expensive stuff.
4. Elope.

Fairly easy, no? Oh, if only it were that simple. In my opinion, planning a wedding should be one of the most enjoyable experiences of your life, which is why I always, always advise my brides to to relax, have a margarita and enjoy the ride. After all, you only get one first wedding!

Throughout the entire process, try to take the word "wedding" out of your vocabulary. The word alone brings a lot of pressure and unneeded stress into the process. Try instead to use words like "celebration," or my favorite, "a savory sensual soiree." This takes some of the pressure off. After all, what is a wedding but a few vows followed by a great party?

Also, give yourself a year to plan this shindig out. Most vendors book way in advance, and if you want first choice, try to be there first on their already-filling calendars.

1. Remember, the team you pull together is crucial to putting together a successful event for all.
2. Go dress shopping! Hit the salons around town, and start looking at dresses. Make sure you take your closest friend with you for a qualified opinion.
3. The second thing you want to do is go shopping for magazines. Get every bridal, lifestyle, fashion, gardening, design and food mag you can. (Don't limit yourself to just wedding mags; I have found inspiration in Architectural Digest, National Geographic and Elle Decor!) Make tear sheets of things you love - dresses, flowers, colors, landscapes, patterns, lighting, etc.) Don't limit yourself! If you like it, tear it out. I once had a bride bring me a picture of a sunset in the Colorado mountains as the feeling she wanted at her wedding.
4. Work out your budget. This part is kind of rough, but necessary. Determine how much your families are willing to kick in (then cry and guilt them into giving more), how much you and your fiancé can afford and work together in peace and harmony to come to a number that isn't going to leave anyone doing his or her Christmas shopping at the dollar store.
5. Check in with the fiancé and make sure he still wants to get married.
6. Settle on a head count. Have everyone come up with a dream list of everyone he or she would like to invite, break it down into those who must be invited, throw in some off the B-list and get your head count.
7. Most importantly: Hire a wedding planner! I say this not only because I am one, but most vendors (and brides who have gone before you), will tell you that this is crucial. A planner has experience and relationships that will prove invaluable to you as you move forward. My most important advice ever: Make sure you like your wedding planner! You will be spending a lot of time with him or her, so make sure that you hire someone who is like-minded, gets your ideas and is pleasant to be around.
8. Book your date and venues. Are you going to have a ceremony in one location and a reception in another? Be sure to factor in travel time between the two. Once again, a qualified planner can help you with this.
9. Start researching vendors (caterers, florists, photographers, etc.) It doesn't hurt to hit a couple of the wedding shows in town, but never, ever commit to a vendor at a wedding show. The rules of impulse-buying apply here, and there is no refund for buyers' remorse. Most deposits are non-refundable. Set up appointments for a later date when you can really spend time with each vendor in which you are interested. Once again, a qualified planner should know most of the vendors in town and be able to set you up with those within your budget and can work with your concept.

Michelle, darling, this should get you started. Obviously, each step is filled with land mines, and the opportunities for problems abound. But don't despair: That Wedding Guy is here for you every step of the way. Have a question for That Wedding Guy? E-mail them to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . I look forward to hearing from you! 'Til next time, au revoir, mesamis!