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Authors Posts by Melissa Kirkpatrick

Melissa Kirkpatrick

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Melissa Kirkpatrick is a Transformational Coach and Motivational Speaker. She’s been featured in Cincy Magazine , CincyChic online magazine and is the author of the impactful self-help book “5 Steps to Your Own D.R.I.V.E.” Melissa offers one-on-one services, motivational speaking and hands-on workshops, allowing individuals and teams to shift their drive from stuck to unstoppable. To learn more, visit http://www.findyourowndrive.com or email missy@findyourowndrive.com.

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Our life coach is encouraging you to take a deeper look at your friendships.

Do your friends often disappoint you? Do they put you down or make fun of you? Do they cancel on you or abandon you when you need them most? If so, maybe it’s time to find a new friend.

Friendship begins with an acquaintance who soon you realize you enjoy being with them.  They are fun, bring you joy, and make you laugh. You get to cry with them and share all your dreams and desires. 

A friend is someone you trust and with whom you share a deep level of understanding and communication. 

A good friend will share the same interest and listen to what you have to say, think and feel. The bottom line is they accept you for who you are.

While they may give you the advice you don’t want to hear from time-to-time, they will never purposely steer you wrong. They tell it like it is.

Having that friendship of someone you can rely on regardless of the circumstances is priceless. 

When you think about how you are showing up in your friendships:  

Are you a good friend who is loyal?

Do you accept them for who they are in the good times and bad?

Are you willing to give more then you take?

Are you showing up when they least expect you to and shower them with love?

Take a deeper look at your friendships and see if they have the following attributes that many describe as a healthy friendship:

  • mutual understanding and trust
  • respect
  • appreciation for each other 
  • equal give and take
  • not one-sided

If any of these are missing you may want to reevaluate the continuation for the relationship. Or perhaps you may want to improve your own friendship attributes to meet the needs of others.

And remember that friendships can come in a season, or are there for lifetime, you decide. Often these friendships can be like a branch on a tree, sometimes pruning is required to allow a new, stronger branch to form.

Here’s to friendships — “Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there…”  

Sending Love & Light

Melissa

 

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Our life coach shares how you can get active physically and mentally.

Winter brings less activity and more hibernation. This time of year is when you are between seasons both on the calendar and with your physical activity. You see winter is full-on and yet spring is right around the corner. With the days getting longer you feel the urge to be more active and your thoughts are lifting with all the extra sunshine.

When you think about being active, keep in mind it is about finding what works for you, so you can be better at keeping up with the activity. 

Working from home has been challenging and yet you are finding a routine that has balance. Some ways to be more active include finding ways to sit less and take more breaks. Going on walks is great for getting you out and about. While at home, consider dancing in the kitchen while cooking dinner or crank up the music when cleaning- be sure to sing along. Health gurus are even claiming that a 10-minute burst of energy several times per day is just as effective as a long workout. 

Now let’s talk about your mental activity.

For mental activity there are some great apps you can download on your phone to work with your memory and thoughts. Other mental activities include reading, increasing your levels of vitamin D from the sun, or challenging yourself with a memory game.

Engage in stimulating conversations or take up a new hobby, and be sure to include taking time to relax your mind when it is overworked. Using guided meditation, listening to nature sounds, or journaling to help off set all that you have going on in your mind, supports mental health. 

The goal is to actively find ways to manage your over all health. Making time for you and getting active in some form or another will make all the difference in your overall wellness.

Here’s to you getting active,

Melissa

 

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In a month that's focused on loving others, our life coach shares how you can love yourself.

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” released in 1965 by Jackie DeShannon, with lyrics that are applicable still today. 

The month of February celebrates the big day of LOVE on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you can take time as you are eating your chocolates and reading your card, and perhaps you are having that amazing dinner out with your partner, to tap into the love that lives within you.

The song goes on to say “it’s the only thing that there’s just too little of” and so I want to challenge you to raise your awareness of self-love.

Often, love is lost when you are pushing up against what you do not want. So, what if you push up against wanting to return to love? What does that look like? How does that feel? Not good.

Here is a way, that takes just a few minutes, for you to tap into a higher level of awareness so you can return to love.

Pause. Deep Breath. Think about all your greatness, your accomplishments, the people in your life, and all the magic that love brings you. Visualize all those moments when you were in pure bliss. Hold that feeling as long as you can.

Yes, doesn’t that feel so good? Feel your energy rise?

Embrace the feeling of love and keep practicing.  

As you do this work, others will see a change in you, and don’t be surprised if they don’t release more love, sweet love, onto you!

You deserve to live your best life,

Melissa

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We’ve all heard “ask and you shall receive.” Our life coach columnist shares how to keep asking - and stop doubting - for what you want so it can become a reality. 

Have you ever heard the statement “you have not because you ask not”? Or “ask and you shall receive”? Do you believe this to be true? What if we really do create the things we desire?

How many times have you found yourself focusing on the things that you desire but quickly find your thoughts move into self-defeating and not allowing you to believe it’s possible?

To shift the negative focus on what you want requires taking inspired action to get your foot off the brake and to accelerate and move forward, trusting in divine timing.

When you’re able to focus on the things that you want without resistance, believing them to already be true, you set the intention with the cosmic kitchen to allow what you desire to come into your reality.

But when you start going down the rabbit hole and focusing on the lack, why it won’t work, or who do I think I am, it begins aligning negative energy that does not allow you to fully step into what it is that you truly want.

This is where the focus is key!

Maybe you want a new car, a home, a vacation, a better job, deeper relationships, or just seeking pure happiness.

If it’s difficult to focus on what that might look like once you’ve arrived at having what you desire, then imagine it in a general context knowing everything always works out for me.

So the focus doesn’t go on what you know to be true, because you’ve already manifested this in your current reality, you have to drop all of the stories from the past and began creating the focus forward knowing that your thoughts become things.

So begin here:

• What do you want to focus on?
• Have you asked for what it is that you desire?
• Are you able to see clearly what you desire in your mind’s eye as if it already is?
• Have you taken time to have the conversation with your higher self to ignite the possibilities for it to become your reality?

Get your foot off the brake and take this inspired action to accelerate and move forward. Do the journaling, meditation, and speaking as if using the above prompts. Find an accountability partner and trust in divine timing. Everything that you truly desire is on the other side of your fear and doubt.

And remember that when your desires outweigh the excuses you can create the most amazing opportunities, experiences, and all the things that you truly desire.

You deserve to live your best life,

Melissa

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It’s natural to fear the unknown. But our life coach columnist shares how to turn fears into confidence, to start seeing a bright future ahead.

As you age you may recognize you are not as flexible, fit, or even look as you once did. When it comes to the quality of your life, although different, you can choose to see it moving in a positive direction and believe your future will always be bright.

Moving in a positive direction as you age is allowing yourself to take all those fears and shift them into confidence. Many of your fears are unnecessary, and oftentimes you may find you go to a fear state of mind because you are not able to process a better understanding. These patterns of negative thinking oftentimes result in the feeling of being discontent with your life and not seeing a bright future.

Here’s how you can make it happen. 

Go inward and think about those times you were a winner, or the times that you did something that you were really proud of, or even little things, those feelings are what brings you closer to joy and confidence.

You’ve heard people ask what’s your five-year plan? The question at first can seem a bit fearful, and yet if you are doing things now that fulfill you, creating that future of making your life better and being able to see it bright will come with ease and flow.

It’s never too late my friend, you can always dream and set those big goals. It is those dreams and goals that really keep you young at heart and interested in your life. 

So instead of getting old and giving up, use the wisdom that you have at this point in your life, so that you can start creating a future based on your confidence and not your fear. 

For more motivation, Google search those individuals whose lives didn’t even start until the second half of life (over 50+), you might be surprised and inspired.

Start now. Stop talking about what didn’t work out, or how you’re unhealthy, or you could have done things differently, and start making contributions into what you see that can improve your current situation and allow you to move confidently into the next season of your bright future. 

And as always, the most positive changes can begin with simple affirmations. Create those positive statements that consciously reprogram your mind so that you can accept this new belief. 

Allow me to start by offering you this affirmation: “I have my whole life ahead of me! I am young and beautiful…at every age. I greet each new day with energy and joy. I live every day to the fullest. All is well.”

Use the affirmations first thing in the morning and the last thing before you go to bed.  Begin and end each day on a positive noteand your future will always be bright.

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If your resolution is already on the struggle bus, our life coach columnist offers four tips to get back on the road to success.

Time to check in as you enter week two of the new year. Are you sticking to your resolution and goals with confidence and clarity to boldly move into the next level for business and life?

The struggle is real. 

The moment when you are crushing your goals, feeling the high energy and excitement for the outcome when out of the blue you hit a low, lose motivation and focus, and the progress slows down or comes to a halt.  

What can you do at that moment?

Give up seems like the convenient choice but you really want this year’s goals and resolution to stick!

Let’s get you set up with a plan to allow you to quickly get back to focus and release that feeling of throwing in the towel. Here are four tips for staying in alignment with your resolutions/goals:

1. Setting goals and getting results is about a series of choices. You have a choice in every moment. Even if you make a choice you can adjust or change it. Think of choices in a way that you are interrupting the old patterns and a new choice creates a new pattern.
2. If you are telling yourself, you can’t stick to the plan because it’s harder than you thought realize that those thoughts keeping it hard. To let go of that belief, use a mantra “I can do hard things” and identify the next logical step.
3. You feel like giving up but know you don’t want to fail.  When this feeling arises, focusing on your why and use the mantra “My desire is stronger than my excuses.”
4. Strengthening your why by tapping back into the day/moment when you set the goal and identify all those reasons you set it to begin with. A mantra that will also help is “things are always working out for me.”

For added support seek out someone who can be your accountability partner. Checking in daily keeps your goals/resolution top of mind. With accountability, you can also identify quickly any adjustments needing to be made or celebrating your successes.

You’ve got this! 

Here’s to creating the life you deserve,

Melissa

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As you begin your first week of the new year, our life coach columnist shares the four questions that can change negative thoughts into positive.

Hallelujah! Welcome to 2021! 

The new year has arrived, and you are probably trying to balance the emotions after a year of uncertainty. As you seek to find clarity, and adapt to the “new normal,” the struggle between the sadness and frustrations to the moments of finding love and happiness are challenging. 

As you begin to create a new focus for 2021, I want to share with you a book that I revisited this year by Bryon Katie titled “Loving What Is.”

I was introduced to this book many years ago, to find myself deep into the reading again this past year only because I kept hearing a mantra in my head — “love what is…” and then I realized that’s a book title.  

Katie’s book is about a time when she is depressed and self-loathing and wanted to find a way out.  She had a life changing insight when she realized a simple truth: when she believed her thoughts, she suffered, and when she didn’t, she was happy.

I have realized on my journey “loving what is” comes when releasing some old beliefs and thoughts by applying Katie’s four key questions to a situation, circumstance, or something that does not bring joy and happiness. A simple but effective tool with these questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

By asking the four questions in order you can create what Katie calls a turnaround question that is the opposite of what you believe from those questions. 

For example – “she doesn’t understand me” becomes “I don’t understand myself.”

By capturing a stressful thoughts and applying the four questions you will begin to release the negative emotions and allowing your energy to shift to a higher frequency which is positive. 

It may be challenging at first but with practice you will discover how you can shift from suffering cognitive behavior to thriving and in all areas of your life. This tool can open your mind and expand your perspective. Give it a try.  

Here’s the link to learn more and practice the process https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/

Sending you Love and Light, 

Melissa

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Making a new year’s resolution? Our life coach columnist explains how to visualize your aspirations and actually make them happen this year.

While the celebrations will be more casual this New Year’s, the optimism going into the new year is still the same.

A new year signifies a time to reboot, reframe, and recall the thoughts and ideas in your head that you want to accomplish, be, do, and have.  

Resolutions and vision boards allow you to get really clear on what you do want and what you no longer want.  Identifying these will allow you to align with a plan to reach and crush goals with speed and rapid results in the new year.

Yes, you may be saying, “I remember setting those resolutions that would only be broken a few weeks into the new year and the vision board became a thing hanging on my wall that didn’t get any attention.”

Or maybe you did not do either but set intentions for letting go of what you don’t want and calling in more of what you do such as losing weight and make more money.  

Whatever you desire, the key is creating a clear and solid plan and being supported by having accountability.

Do you have those things in place? If you are struggling and need help — ask — there is no shame in being supported.

Even if you have not created a vision board or set a resolution, consider how these tools will support you moving forward.

Navigating life can be challenging. Staying motivated and focused to live life by design, filled with passion and purpose, iswhere the magic happens.

I encourage you to take the next three days to get excited, make a plan, get focused, and ask for accountability so 2021 will be your year to “Find Your Own DRIVE”.

Follow this link below to receive the FREE training on Vision Boards I presented earlier this year:

www.findyourowndrive.com/vbw-presentation

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Want more good in the new year? Our life coach columnist explains how to mindfully make space in your life for it.

When you create space, you allow for more. As we move into the holidays and gear up for the new year, take time to open your space mentally and physically. Opening space means you are preparing to receive more of what you want and easily let go of the old. Are you ready?

Let’s start with your thoughts.  Setting your goals and desires, begin by creating the vision and believing in infinite possibilities. Begin to use “I am” mantras that include abundance and prosperity. Journal all the details of what you desire to get you excited and free up your thoughts from lack.

As for your physical environment, wherever there is clutter or unorganized chaos, find ways to clean it up, organize,or pitch it. Trust it no longer holds value or importance in your space, and it is just keeping you stuck in a low vibrational frequency and your intention is to be on the high vibrational frequency tapping into the Cosmic Kitchen of the Universe. 

Additional areas to open space include:

• Remove clothes from your closet that are no longer your style, too big, too tight or you just don’t wear.
• Clean out one junk drawer, you know the one in the kitchen that collects everything from rubber bands, pieces of paper, ink pens, nail clippers, and such.  Organize or pitch. 
• What’s the inside of your car look like? Could it use a little cleaning out of “stuff” or a good wash and vacuum?
• How about those relationships? Those that no longer fill your cup, begin to distance, or limit time together. You will know who this is because you feel an “energy leak” when you spend time with them.

This is only a few areas in your life that might be weighing you down. Look around and see where else you can release what no longer brings joy.  When you can open to receive both in your mind and physical environment, the Universe can deliver more.

If you’re holding too much space for all the unwanted things in your life you’ll find it a struggle to get the things that you do want in your life. Make the exchange: release what you don’t want and be excited about what you do want is on its way to you. 

And to really ignite the magic, go outside and lift your arms high into the air and say “I am open to receive” feeling the cosmic energy conspiring on your behalf! 

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If 2020 has you spiraling, read on as our life coach columnist shares how to move from the feeling of being out of control into a controllable energy space.

People don’t resist change; they resist being changed. And the harder you push against the grain, the harder it pulls you back to a place where you are out of control. 

This year has taught you that when you think you’re in control, you quickly realize you actually have no control. Here is one way you can move from the feeling of being out of control into a controllable energy space.

First, give yourself permission to go within and bring yourself back to you. The one thing you always have control of is YOU! Managing you requires the balance of your body, mind, and spirit—your energy field.

When external circumstances hit you out of the blue and you have no control over them, but you try desperately to gain control because you don’t like how it makes you feel, the quickest way to gain control is to adjust your energy field.  

When you feel like you are spiraling out of control, stop, breath, and think or say CENTER – shifting back into the positive energy field known as the center (or grounding). 

Begin by repeating the mantra “out of any situation only good will come; all is well” over and over until you can feel your body release any tension that has built up. Now don’tget me wrong, sometimes you have to look hard for the good or wait patiently and trust, but the good rise up.  Your intention with this practice is to:

Keep an open MIND for favorable possibilities,

Dropping the negative energy out of the BODY,

and Process from a loving heart of SPIRIT.  

You’ll be amazed how quickly things will begin to turn around when you learn to find your center and shift the energy field in your favor.

This will take some practice. Stay with it.  I discovered on my journey that inner peace is something you work on often. 

And shifting negative energy to positive starts by going within.  

Fill your cup first, as they say. And from there you create more of what you desire and less of what no longer serves you (or maybe doesn’t trigger you as much).

When you are in a situation where it’s no longer possible to manage think CENTER and begin with the mantra to reset your energy field.

Sending you love and light! All is well.

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