The journey begins!
Hello Cincy Chic readers!
This is the first official blog entry, but I should give you a heads up first. I had to start some journal entries before I could technically blog on the site, so I'm going to post the first week, then in a few days I'll post last week, followed by this week come Monday. After that I should be in real-time. Well, here we go!
Thursday, January 25th
Tomorrow starts my great life change. I want to put this out there for all you women who are possibly attempting the same things I will be doing. Its sort of going to be a real life testimony, as well as something everyone can relate tostraight from my world to this blog. Hopefully many of you can relate to what the future holds for me, and maybe provide you a good laugh along the way.
I should start by telling everyone what exactly it is I am doing and why. I suppose it all started about six or seven months ago when I was talking to an orthodontist about getting my teeth fixed. See, I have had this horrible gap in my teeth from where a permanent tooth never came down, causing my mouth to never fill properly. Its my self-conscious thingand of course its gotta be the first thing most people notice (great, isnt it?).
So anyways, Im being told I will need oral surgery and veneerswhich is frickin fantastic because I can skip the whole braces thing, but not so fantastic because its going to cost some serious dough to get my grill in shape. Its all good though, because this is something I need to get done, so 2007 will ring in a new smile for me. Lets all sing it, you know you want to, Let me see yo grillyo yo yo grill!
Alright, so this leads to my first big step of the change, and probably the hardest. Im a *gasp* smoker. Ive been told to quit numerous times by my doctor, not just for the typical reasons, but for family medical history. My mother is a breast cancer survivor, and my father, although a seemingly healthy man, had a heart attack two years ago which resulted in a 5-way bypass. Oh, and both of my grandfathers died of cancer. Genetically, the odds are against me.
Ive known I need to quit for a long time, but never had anything pushing me. I always said that when the day comes I end up prego that it will seal the deal for quitting. That is until I found out about my teeth. I dread the dentist, and the thought of getting dry-socket or some other infection makes my skin crawl. So my new goal was to quit when I get my teeth fixed. I would like to add here that the new smoking ban has absolutely NOTHING to do with me quitting. Thats a whole other beef I have, but I feel its important to state that I am quitting for personal reasons, not because of legislation.
Well, I got to thinking. Why not do a whole health make-over? There is that dreaded thought smokers have of gaining weight, and that is on half of my mind. The other half comes down to that fact I need to eat better. Actually, I should say I need to eat healthier. So, Im teaming up with Personal Newtrition to help with my healthier me quest.
Tomorrow starts the change Gods speed me, may the force be with me.
Friday, January 26th
Ok, so my game plan is this: weaning myself off of cigarettes. Its a modified cold turkey, but one of the nurses from Personal Newtrition suggested it. I figured Ill start this weekend so I have better odds of cutting back during those nice, cold breaks at work. Which leads to another thingwork. One of my gal pals also smokes and she wants to quit with me. So this should work out good. Ive got the quitting buddy, which is going to help out when the cravings hit.
Ahh, the cravings. Only a smoker knows the agony of quitting and getting through those, I need a cigarette! moments. Some people are all, You should quit! or Cant you just wait to smoke? To that I say, NO! and NO! Newsflashits not like switching from regular pop to diet. Its an addiction, a physical and mental addiction. Ive been told it takes 3 days for nicotine to get out of your system and the rest is just mind over matter. Its all about those trigger points. Its amazing what your mind can do to you. Ive attempted quitting once before, and it was pure hell. Headaches and mood swings, not to mention that voice in the back of my head saying, just do it, one more, come on, it will taste so good!
Of course I tried quitting at the worst possible time. A close friend had just left for Iraq, which I promised him I would quit before he came home. I was also 21that new, bar hopping, drinking age. Emotional female + 21 years old = not a chance. That lasted a week, and all I got from that was an afternoon finding tools I had hurled into our yard (I mentioned the mood swings, right?).
Lets just hope I dont have another tool-tossing episode. Im thinking about investing in a dart board.
Saturday, January 27th
OK, so I think I might make it. Of course Im not even a day into it, but its been a good 15 hours. This weaning thing just might work. I guess I should make it known that Im doing this with no patch or pill. Sheer will power is my source, of course powered by my control freak-I can do it myself-I dont need your stinkin help attitude. Yes, Im bullheaded, but I prefer to call it strong willed.
This is why I think I can do thisI drove for almost an hour last night, in stand-still traffic at that, and didnt pull a Kathy Bates scene from Fried Green Tomatoes (Face it girls, Im older and I have more insurance.haha, great movie!). See, driving is a big smoking trigger for me. I can go less than 5 minutes down the street, but I HAVE to burn a smoke the second I get I click that seatbelt. Its a compulsion. I remember one time I ran out before I could another pack and I felt like a crack addict needing a fix the whole 10 minutes drive. Pathetic, right? Yes, I know.
Anyways, I was making the long haul to my moms house for some quality mother-daughter time, and typically I smoke, ehh, like four cigarettes during the drive, sometimes five. Im proud to say I smoked two! Yes ladies (and gentleman who might be reading this), I said two! It gets even betterI ate enough pizza to technically commit one of the seven deadly sins (ok, thats not such a good thing), but I didnt have an after-meal smoke. Oh, and yes, there is such a thing, its like chocolate cake and a cup of coffee for smokers. Its one of those after dinner mints, something that settles the food. I dont know exactly how else to describe it, but trust me, its real.
So I made it through the night, with just those two cigarettes I had on the drive. Then I had to face my next challengemy morning coffee. For me (and Im sure other smokers can attest to this) theres two drinks that go hand in hand with a cigarettecoffee and beer. On the weekends I can just sit outside and relax for an hour with my coffee and smokes, probably going through about 4 cups of coffee and twice as many cigarettes. Thank God this morning it was cold. I brewed up my coffee, and piddled around as long as I could before I HAD to go smoke. I think I made it about 30 minutes before I cracked. I headed outside and Im proud to say I smoked just one! Alright, I thought, just one, thats good. Its not two or four , right?
Another hour or so later, I got the uncontrollable urge to smoke again, which by the way, I had been fighting for 45 minutes. Ah ha! I decided to smoke ½ a cigarette, which turned out to be just enough. I figured to save it for the drive home, so I put it out half way and headed back inside.
I started to think that I needed to make a plan. Some sort of weird plan that will help me with the dang urges I get while driving. I have this weird thing I do with smoking in the car. On trips that I make routinely, such as work, going to my moms, to the store, etc., I have land markers that I have to smoke by, such as exits, or buildings. I need to do something about thisand fast. Thats where this, its all mental after a while thing kicks in. So my game plan for my trip home from my moms is that I couldnt smoke until I had been driving for 5 miles. After that, I had to wait another 10 before I could smoke another.
Well, Im home now and Im proud to say that I smoked that ½ cigarette from earlier this morning and one more. I beat myself at my own game! I could have squeezed another one in there, but I didnt. Woo hoo!!! Another point for me! I think I just might get through this.
Sunday, January 28th
OK, last night was a true testament to the challenge that lies before me. I had a birthday party for my friends kid out in Amelia. The drive45 minutes from my house. After the birthday party, I had the Winter Blues Party off of Paddock Roada 30 minute drive from Amelia. Total cigarettes to Amelia, two; total cigarettes to Winter Blues, two. Now here is the important part of why I feel so good about my cigarette consumption. See, I sort of jumped back on the highway when I shouldnt have. Dont ask, Im typically good with directions. So I have officially traveled practically the entire I-275 loop and gone all the way through Cincinnati. Im pissed, Im frustrated with myself, Im late, and now Im lost.
After a phone call to my half-asleep father, I eventually found my way to the party. I had officially been on the road for over an hour. I think two cigarettes is pretty darn good, dont you? I made it through two hours at the event, even with drinking, and didnt smoke once. Hooray for me! After Winter Blues, I headed to a house warming party, smoking once on that trip, none while I was there, and NONE on my 30 minute drive home!
Im starting to think this is going to be easier than the last time. So far I havent had a headache, I havent thrown anything, and my urges arent too bad. Well see how I feel this week when I head into workIm hoping my opinion wont change!