Getting Friendly

Friends are a very important part of our life. But, before you start trying to forge life-long friendships with the person sitting next to you, remember that knowing which friends are really your friends and which ones are keeping you down is not an easy task. So, how do you find the right friends you might ask? Well, that is a good question. One thing you can’t do is put out an ad for a good friend. Good friends are hard to come by and can take a lifetime to establish. But it’s worth it!

The problem of differentiating friends and foes has existed since the time of Aristotle, who tried to answer the question, “What is a friend?” His answer: “A friend is "one soul inhabiting two bodies." Other thoughts on friendship from the famous philosopher: "Without friends no one would choose to live, though she/he had all other goods."

There are all kinds of different friends with which to contend. Some friends are at a “high level,” or what you might call “acquaintances.” This means that when you are with your high level friends, you act like everything is going great, you’re in a great mood and you’re happy, whether this is true or not. They are people to just go out and have fun with and not share any intimate conversation or problems. These friends are needed in your life and are worth keeping. They can help you get through a bad day.

There are other friends that are very close to you. They may even be qualified as your "best friend." These ladies (or men) would be there in a heartbeat if you got into any trouble and needed help, no matter what the circumstances. Close friends like these won’t judge you when you make bad decisions. They are always there to talk through your problems or celebrate your greatest accomplishments.

You can have two kinds of close friends; one that will allow you to cry on their shoulder any time, day or night, and will be a great comforter. They can give you encouragement when you most need it. And, one that you just laugh with and keep you vibrant. You can share anything with them as well, but they are your “PMA” friends (positive mental attitude). They keep you striving for your goals. Close friends are always worth keeping.

Finally, there are those friends who claim to be your friends, but are always busy when you need them. They always have some excuse as to why they can’t be there when you need them. This can be hurtful. They can also be the friends whose ethics are not what they should be. They like pushing the envelope and seeing if they can get away with doing things that aren’t ethically kosher. And they want to bring you along for the ride. Be careful of these kinds of individuals. They may not be worth keeping.

Also, there are people who say they are your friends, but are just using you to get something for themselves. It could be because of your stature (coming from a wealthy family), resources, who you know, where you work or what you do for a living. You will be able to tell which friends fit into this category. Be careful of these friends. You may want to re-evaluate if they are worth keeping.

Friends accept one another’s differences and realize that it’s OK to be different from each other. Opposites attract in friendship just as much as in relationships. Be proud of your differences. This world would be a boring place if we were all the same. Just remember what the angel wrote in “It’s A Wonderful Life”: “No one’s a failure who has friends.”