We tell our girlfriends everything, right? Almost. Our life coach columnist explains the five ways you can leverage friendships to get your finances on track.
Initially, as I began to write this article, I wanted to discuss fun, frugal activities for a girl’s night out! However, more than I want us to come together and have a good time, I want us to come together and support each other through our life experiences. I will write about girl’s night out another time because I have a wealth of information to share there. Today, I want to discuss why more women are not having an honest discussion about money with their girlfriends.
My girlfriends and I are very honest when it comes to money management and investments. We share when we have developed extra streams of income and when we can’t go out to dinner because our money has already been extended. We are not embarrassed by it because it happens to everyone at different points in our life.
We talk about money and use it as a way to grow our money. The conversation is the same as my girlfriends calling me and dishing about a guy or a date, we call each other and say, “I just spent entirely too much money this weekend?” or “I want to do this as an additional stream of income, how can I incorporate it?”
There is so much to learn from your girlfriends if we just open up and share. If your friends don’t know your struggles, you may never get the help or encouragement you need to progress, and you could eventually dig yourself into a greater hole by faking it until you make it with people who truly care about you.
People, in general, are very tight lipped about their personal finances, but you don’t know what you don’t know and there is no shame in that. Information comes in many forms and some of that information is in your closest circles.
I want to share some money talk approaches that have worked.
1. Getting Naked
As a woman, you may have changed a shirt or pants in front of your friends once or twice. Get undressed (not physically but metaphorically) and tell your friends about your money struggles. Your friends won’t know how to help you if they don’t know you need help. Do it over wine.
2. Stop Faking It
In so many areas of our lives, we have to act like we have it all together. We have to be the best mom, the best wife, the best cookie baker, in general, the best caregiver to everyone else. If you can tell your friends about an embarrassing moment, you can certainly tell your friends you can’t go to dinner this week and the real why. We are not made perfectly, so why do we feel the pressure to appear perfect. Repeat after me, “I don’t always have it together, but I do the best I can.” Don’t let society make you think everyone is out here in the world oozing perfection.
3. Open Discussion
We read articles on money, investments, real estate and we think we have no one to discuss these topics with besides a man. Men don’t know everything about money and get it wrong too. According to many studies, more women control the household budget then men do. It is important for a woman to know where the money is coming from, where it is going, how to invest, what is being invested, how to secure the family in the event of an emergency, etc. If you don’t you may be financially hurt in the future. Ask the questions because the only stupid question is an unasked one.
4. Hire A Professional
I said it once, I’ll say it twice. If you invite a stranger into your bikini area, you can invite a stranger into your banking accounts. People instantly feel judged when they talk about the mistakes they made with money. Everyone has made these same mistakes. If they hadn’t the national average credit score wouldn’t have been 640. Just like a doctor that has studied the heart, finance professionals have studied money. Finding the right one is like finding the perfect bikini waxer. The relationship is golden.
5. Have A Money Circle
People would like to keep money and friendships separate just in case something goes bad you won’t lose a friend over money. I’m not saying go into business with your friends but learn from them. If you have a friend that owns a big house, drives a luxury car, and dresses nicely ask her what financial strategies has she taken with her money. Learn from people who are doing what you want to do. Many people fear rejection and awkward situations, but the worst thing you could ever hear is NO, it won’t be the last time you will hear it either. So get over it already. Don’t let fear stop you from acquiring valuable knowledge.
Until next time frugal friends