Do you see a setback as a failure or as an opportunity? How you answer this question will determine your ability to move mountains or stay stuck in the past.
I tell my clients all the time there shouldn’t be any good or bad, right or wrong, guilt or shame if they get the result they are looking for. I tell them not to take the setback personal; it has nothing to do with who THEY ARE. Life happens, we adjust the best we can and sometimes we may feel like doing the work required to reach a certain goal.
It IS what it IS, so evaluate the plan, see where there may have been a weakness or obstacles you didn’t foresee, make the changes necessary then get back on the wagon.
I had an opportunity to experience this myself. I made a goal of going to the Arnold Classic 2013 in Columbus, Ohio wearing the jeans (totally inappropriate for my age now, haha) that I wore 13 years ago when I was competing. I thought the jeans would be a good milestone for me. Well, needless to say I didn’t make my goal. In fact, I no longer could fit in the jeans. Keep in mind I could fit in my jeans when I started my goal.
So the moral of the story is, I went to the Arnold anyway in a larger pair of jeans, but I had a choice to make this situation as a setback and take it personally or use it as an opportunity to grow. I repeated over and over in my mind….there is not right or wrong, good or bad, guilt or shame just RESULTS. I wanted to admit defeat allowing myself to think the worst. However, I took hold of these thoughts and did not allow them to take over my mind. I instead held on to my good attitude and had a wonderful time. I took a hard look at why I did not get the result I was looking for and lo and behold I found them.
I hadn’t been focusing on my goal and doing my Daily Daydreaming Practice. My goal wasn’t in forefront of my mind. I also didn’t add the structure in place I needed to make it happen. What a powerful learning experience it was for me to go through in my own personal journey.
I have set a new goal and created a plan of action with milestones for accountability. I am giving myself plenty of time to account for unforeseen obstacles and I’m doing my Five Minutes a Day Daydreaming Practice to bring my goal into existence. Will I stumble and fall at times? Sure, but it’s all a part of the process in which I allowed time for.
I have found that it’s in our weakness and failures that we learn and grow the most. I feel blessed to have been reminded of this valuable lesson. Don’t take failure as a personal failure, just learn, grow from it, and carry on living an extraordinary life!