Ten years. One decade. Three thousand, six hundred and fifty days.
However you want to say it, it’s been 10 full years since 43-year-old Caryn Miller has been on a good date. She’s been set up, stood up and stalked, but nothing that qualifies as a good date. “I would love to meet someone that is not married, believes in God, [is] genuine, has a job, does not live with his mother and if he has children, is active in their life,” she says. “This is much harder that people think.”
It’s not like she doesn’t get out, either. Miller volunteers for VISTAS hospice with her dog, Cynamon. In addition to her volunteer efforts, she works full time at Talbert House and weekends at North Star, an adolescent girls facility. But she finds it difficult to meet people because most get-togethers she’s invited to are usually “couple’s things.” Another hurdle to finding Mr. Right is her weight and appearance. “If my health and beauty is in check, I will be much more social, as I will feel so much better about myself,” she says.
Life Coach Mary Claybon with Promoting Health: The Middle Way says she will work with Miller to clarify her vision. Claybon says a coach is responsible for finding her clients’ “strengths, skills, successes, motivators that will enable the planning and action phases of change.”
Speaking of change, Miller says she wants some more of it in her bank account. So, she will get a three hour financial planning session with Cynthia “Cid” Kamuf, CFP, owner of Money Concepts Financial Planning Centre, to get her on a better financial path for the future. Miller says better financial stability will help her with many things, primary of which is going to college to get a higher degree.
Michelle Bradley, a 30-year-old police officer, is ready for some major changes in the social department, too. She recently changed job shifts, and has time for a social life. Great, right? Not so much. Her only friends are co-workers who still work her old shift, and therefore she has even less of a social life since the shift switch.
She wants to find friends outside of work so she has people with which to spend her newfound week nights and weekends. “I am on a volleyball team now so I’m meeting people that way,” Bradley explains. “But I would love to become more involved in groups to start meeting people outside of my job.”
Some groups she’s looking into are non-profits such as the SPCA and Give back Cincinnati. But a big hurdle to getting involved is her solo status. “I want to become more confident to go to an event by myself if I can’t find anyone to go with me. I want more confidence in myself,” she says. “Confidence is the key to how you feel about yourself and mine needs some work.”
Claybon says the positive thing about Bradley is that she’s ready for change in her life and seems ready to set goals. “A coach is there to remind them of their uniqueness, their greatness and their ability to succeed,” Claybon says. “A coach is also there when the plan begins to feel boring, or they begin to face the obstacles that have gotten in the way of success in the past and want to creep in during their progress.”
Bradley also needs help in the relationship department, as she’s in a relationship that isn’t 100 percent fulfilling. She says she needs the support and motivation to improve this situation. Claybon will help Bradley with this goal, but we’re bringing in Newport-based Be! A Spa for the Mind for back-up support.
Founder of Be!, Heather Rahn, says they offer an individual program that can help women out of relationship ruts. Clients of this program get a team of professionals, from a therapist to a stylist, to help them refresh their state-of-mind, image and self confidence. “It’s a great way to get the tools you need to start anew,” says Rahn. “I think this program will be perfect for her.”
As for Ramona Fisch, our third makeover winner, she says the social department is one of the only areas where she doesn’t need much work. She’s a busy mom, a loving pet owner and a doting wife, but she also belongs to a “Red Hat” group. “[It’s] eight of my closest friends and we have wonderful times together,” she says. “I would highly recommend it to anyone over 50 or almost there.”
Photo: Amy Storer-Scalia