Ask Nicci: Searching for Normal Guys Online

Ask Nicci: Searching for Normal Guys Online

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I am addicted to online dating and my girlfriends are nagging me to stop wasting my time. I’ve been doing it for over two years, and I’ve met no one relationship-worthy. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? Is it possible to find a normal guy online?


Seeking Normal


Dear Seeking,


I’m guessing your girlfriends have probably heard one too many of your online dating debacles! I can give you some pointers for weeding out the time-wasters. However, as I’m sure you know, finding a "normal guy" online can be like looking for a needle in a haystack.


Searching through hundreds of online profiles can be overwhelming, not to mention feel like a part-time job, though, it is possible to find great guys online (and it isn’t difficult either). Just by using the process of elimination, you easily can scroll through the potentials and sort out the time-wasters, weirdos, etc. This will increase your chances of finding a normal guy.


Avoid the following examples of red flags:


  • Shady profile photos: Forty percent of online daters are married, so avoid profiles with no photos, and go ahead and rule out any that only have one photo which is blurry or seems like it’s from the last millennium.
  • Winks instead of direct e-mails
  • Poor grammar and misspelled words
  • Only online communication with excuse after excuse for not meeting in person
  • Failure to answer direct questions regarding their personal life
  • Tacky headlines
  • E-mails that aren’t reciprocal and are more just insincere compliments or random statements ("Very pretty" or "You would look great at the derby.") — I speak from experience on this one, as these are actual examples I’ve received!


The type of guys you want to attract online will not raise any red flags; will have no problem initiating an in-person meeting (date) right away; and will have a professional, well-written profile. If you find someone that piques your interest, be proactive and do a background check. They’re not just for private investigators anymore! It’s completely common these days, inexpensive and can save you a lot of time and emotional energy in the long run.


Learning to spot red flags quickly should lessen your chances for further online dating horror stories and hopefully get your girlfriends off your back.


In the end, if you find yourself fed up dating in a fantasy world and want to try finding great guys back in the real world here are some places to look: join a gym, take a cooking class, volunteer, attend a networking event, or call your favorite matchmaker — me. These are all great ways to meet normal guys offline.