Ask Him: How to Give a Man Something They’ll Never Forget

Q: I think your topic should cover why men are so forgetful about things their women want them to do. How can we get the message through nicely but effectively?

– Ann, Harrison

A: You know, it’s funny. I had totally planned on answering this question about a week ago. Yet, ironically, I forgot.

I don’t really think it’s fair that guys get labeled as “the forgetful ones.” Birthdays, anniversaries, your mom’s birthday… Over the years, we’ve kind of garnered a bum rap for forgetting important things like that. Or even little things, like putting the cap back on the toothpaste, leaving the toilet seat up or noticing your cat in the driveway. We can’t help it we’re easily distracted beings (Ever see Nicholas Cage in "The Weatherman?" You’ll see what I mean.)

A while back, I thought it’d be a good idea to start using a Smartphone, a mobile electronic “secretary” capable of reminding us of all the things we usually forget. Being a gadget freak, I figured I’d use it all the time. And for the most part, I do. Phone numbers, calendars, to do lists – it all goes into the Smartphone. It’s rather brilliant, actually. Until I forget my phone. Then I’m totally screwed. I mean, how many of us actually call someone by remembering their phone number? If I don’t have my phone with me, to look up someone’s digits by name, I’m pretty much incommunicado until I can look up their info on my phone, or my computer.

But I digress. Is this really a guy thing, per se? Personally, I think women are just as forgetful as men. It’s just that women are much more vengeful and vocal about our mistakes than we are about theirs. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing started with a scorned woman (throughout history, isn’t that how a lot of things got started?) whose man forgot something, and got the ball rolling. No matter how horrible of a day he had, a guy simply can not win if he forgets something important. Especially a birthday or anniversary. If he does, it’s off to the couch he goes to sleep that night.

But in today’s fast-paced, mochacchino-driven, ADD-riddled world, where every second counts, I’m surprised everyone isn’t more forgetful. In fact, I’d almost encourage it. Life without IM, cell phones, MySpace and OnStar? Are you kidding me? Could anyone survive more than a day? We’re too busy, too accessible and innundated with so much meaningless crap every single day, it’s not too hard to see how we can be so forgetful, men and women alike.

So cut your guy some slack. Chances are, like the rest of us, he’s got a lot on his plate, and didn’t mean any harm in forgetting whatever the heck it was he forgot. Of course, there is that small chance that he actually is a huge jerk, in which case you should delete all of his contact information from your Smartphone immediately.

In short, try dropping subtle hints well ahead of time, if you want to remind someone of a special date, or something that “needs” to be done. Be nice. It’s that whole “catch more flies with honey than vinegar” thing. Although, I have no idea what you’d wanna do with all of those flies. They’re nasty little pests, and can carry disease. Now, what were we talking about again?

Have a Question for Pete? Send him an e-mail at pscalia@cincychic.com.