Ask Nicci: How to Get Noticed, Approached

Ask Nicci: How to Get Noticed, Approached

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What do I need to do to get a guy to notice me? Clearly what I am doing is not working. Last night I was at a local Happy Hour and saw this guy that I was interested in, but I was unable to even get a glance from him. I’m not extremely outgoing, so walking up to him and saying some corny pick-up line puts me out of my comfort zone. Is there a secret to getting guys to hit on you? Signed,

No game


Dear Game,

Telepathy is never going to be the best technique for getting a guy’s attention. Nothing is worse than sizing up your potential husband from across the room only to be ignored, embarrassed or disappointed! Let’s make sure this never happens again.


When you prepare yourself for these situations, we have to be proactive to get results. Keep in mind that suggesting that you are proactive doesn’t mean I am saying you are the aggressor and approach him. Ideally, we want THEM to come to US, right?! I say, let’s be clever — work smarter, not harder. Let’s get to work.


If you want to be noticed, first you have to turn their heads. Men find confident, funny, and flirty women sexy. Here is the check list:
• If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Do you have great legs or beautiful hair? Show them off!
• Are you funnier or more confident with your girlfriends? Take along your best wingmen (girlfriends) when you go out. [Nicci Note: Do not take too many girlfriends — guys are less likely to approach women traveling in herds.]
• Do you get nervous when talking to guys? Practice a list of questions that are zesty and flirty but not cliché.


Okay, so you are feeling beautiful, confident, and approachable, you’re sitting at your table and you spot an attractive guy a couple tables over. Look at him when he looks your way. Hold eye contact for as long as possible and SMILE. Breathe. It’s okay to be nervous. Keep smiling, keep holding eye contact for 3-5 seconds, and then turn back to whatever you were doing — eating, drinking, or chatting with your wingmen. Now forget about him. If he doesn’t come over to talk to you, he’s not for you. Not today.


Your eye contact and body language is like any other healthy form of communication; you say something and look for a response. After engaging him with eye contact you are letting him know you are open and receptive to him approaching you. If he is intrigued, all that’s left is to wait for his next move (he may move closer, his body may point towards you, or he may look at your repeatedly). Knowing you are reciprocating eye contact will give him the courage to go over and speak to you.


Eye contact and body language are two secrets to getting noticed and ultimately being approached. Try not to pressure yourself to meet guys every time — remember to have fun, no expectations. In the end, if Mr. Right does cross your path, make sure you are so engaging and flirty that he cannot resist asking what your “sign” is…