Coach Shari: Expecting the Best

Coach Shari: Expecting the Best

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Our life coach columnist explains how the difference between a good and bad day often hidden within our self talk. Keep reading to learn more.


I was dropping off my training materials to be printed at the store. The man working behind the counter recognized me since I’m probably one of their best customers. As he began to work on my project, we made small talk.

All of a sudden, the humming of the copier stopped. We both turned to stare at the machine. He quickly assessed the issue and with a scowl on his face, he stated, “I knew my day was going to be bad like this.” Concerned, I watched him start to work on the problem. His emotional response was so dramatic that I assumed that this was a very serious situation and the copier was out of commission. I asked him if I should come back later, since it sounded like this was not going to be a fast fix. But no— after a quick cartridge replacement, the copier was up and running.

The reaction from the worker didn’t jive with the minor problem that he faced.

I couldn’t help but notice the irony in the situation. There I was, having my training material on Resilience printed, while he so clearly demonstrated a lack of any ability to weather the teeny tiniest of storms. In his world, this was a big catastrophe. In a Resilient person’s world, this would not even measure a blip on the radar screen.

I suppose that if you wake up in the morning believing that the worst is going to happen and your day is really going to suck, the universe will give you that bad day that really sucks.

However, is the universe really responsible for your day? Things happen and you are in charge of your reactions to what the universe throws at you. You decide whether you want to receive it in a positive manner or not. You decide how you want to react and respond to what has transpired.

Last year, I was walking downtown in my favorite dress on a hot summer day. It was lunchtime and the streets were packed. I was feeling really good about myself when I suddenly had this thought— did I zip up my dress? It did feel a bit breezy in the back. I quickly ran my hand up the back of my dress and my worst fears were confirmed. Not only was the long zipper open but it was impossible for me to zip it up without help. So, I turned around and asked the girl behind me if she would help me.

My first reaction to this predicament was shock, which quickly changed into extreme embarrassment, and then morphed into me seeing the humor in the situation. I started laughing and the women behind me also began to laugh. I was no longer embarrassed but found the situation really, really funny.

I guess that if I had started the day thinking that it was going to be a horrible day, I would have had that experience for confirmation of my prediction. But since I assumed everything was going to go well for me, I got over this trauma quickly with a good laugh.

Things will happen. Whether it’s a good or bad day is often dependent upon what you tell yourself before the day even begins. Whether it’s a good day or bad day is also dependent upon your reaction when those things happen. You make the CHOICE to live a Resilient life.

Columnist - After graduating from Ohio State University with a B.A. in Organizational Communications, Shari spent 10 years working in Business Operations with progressive responsibility. She was an integral part of the company’s growth from 2 to 50 store operations. After leaving this position, she worked in the fields of Education and Social Services, where she became the “go-to” person for change. Her problem-solving, leadership, and people skills enabled her to take an idea and develop it into a full-fledged program. Shari then decided to fulfill a life-long dream and received her Mental Health/Counseling Degree. In 2010, Shari created Shari Goldsmith Coaching, to support and empower professional women to define their goals, go after their dreams, and ultimately change their lives. A few years later, Shari created Workplace Resilience to give individuals and executive teams the tools to not only survive, but thrive in this fast changing marketplace. Shari is the current President of the local Ellevate Chapter, part of a global network of 34,000 professional women. Contact her at