Coach Shari: Five Sanity-Saving Sayings
My husband and I actually ventured out in the cold last night. On our way home, he remembered that he had planned on stopping at Costco to fill up the car before they closed. Now it was too late and he was frustrated that he had forgotten. “It is what it is,” I told him. He looked at me for a second and stated that I say that to him a lot. I thought about this for a moment and I have to agree.
Why do I say it so much? Because it helps me stay grounded in my personal AND professional life. It enables me to focus on what I can control in my world and what I need to let go. After I say this, I can move on and not continue to waste energy on what just can’t be. I know that accepting “what is,” makes me happier in life.
This led me to think about the other sayings that seem to permeate my speech and define how I live my life.
What goes around comes around.
Have you ever encountered a bully in your career? I have and it can be downright miserable. I worked in a job once where the resident bully would target different people everyday. She had the formal power to get away with her bad behavior and she made numerous workers around me very unhappy. Eventually, it was my turn. Although she drove other people crazy, I survived the experience better than most. I just repeated my phrase to everyone, “What goes around, comes around”. I sincerely believed that her actions would catch up with her. And they did.
People change when they’re ready to change.
You can probably imagine why I use this one so much. I coach people daily to change their lives. Although potential clients contact me because they’re unhappy with their current lives and say they want to change, that doesn’t mean that they’re READY to change. That’s a whole different story. It’s interesting to see what eventually motivates people to make the change. There’s not always a clear-cut science to this. Regardless, I can be the absolute most talented coach in the world, but if the person is not ready to commit to changing their lifestyle, it’s not going to happen. I can’t take responsibility for making this happen. The ball is in their court.
Think Problem-Solution.
I’m sure my two sons remember me saying this numerous times while they were growing up. When they would get emotionally charged about a situation, I would force them to come down to earth. I wanted them to stop wasting time and energy, find a solution to their dilemma, and move on. I use this same method with my clients now. We all have times where we get lost in our problems and have difficulty seeing all the possible solutions that lay in front of us. Personally, I say this to myself numerous times throughout my workday.
There’s no magic pill.
There’s no magic pill that will cure relationships, health issues, work success etc. However, time and time again, people just don’t want to believe this. They want to solve their issues in the easiest way possible, with the least work possible. If you want change, you need to do the hard work to make it happen. There’s no easy path to success— end of story.
Now it’s your turn. Think about the different adages that you sprinkle in your speech. Do they help you deal with life in a positive manner? Be sure to let me know what you discover.
