Coach Shari: Four Things to Change
It’s no secret that I work daily with women that are itching to change their lives. All my work with women has let me to realize that they tend to grapple with the same familiar issues over and over. These issues are the very things that end up holding women back from moving forward and finding happiness and success. Where do you fall on this spectrum of behaviors that need to change?
Women have difficulty accepting compliments
I must confess that I’m guilty of this behavior. Do you know how many times I find myself doing this? Here’s how the scenario usually unfolds: someone compliments me on my dress or outfit. I don’t say thank you, but I spend the next 5 minutes explaining to them the great deal I got on the dress, shoes etc. Now, why do I do this? It’s because I feel awkward about receiving so much attention and positive praise. Obviously, I’ve been programmed to downplay the positives that come my way. I want to be liked. I need to stop this and so do you.
Women comparing themselves to others
If you tell me that you have never taken part in this behavior, I don’t believe you. At some point in your life, you fall back into this toxic pattern. Some women play this game for a lifetime, which invariably results in unhappiness. The reality is that there will always be someone with a better wardrobe, a more fabulous husband, a bigger house and a better life. That is, it will appear to be that way. No one’s life is perfect and women only let you see what they want you to see. When you find yourself falling back into this behavior, do an inventory of your own unhappiness in your life, and know that this is really about YOU.
Women not accepting their own body
I know I talk about this a lot but I need to bring it up again. This is a universal issue for women and from my vantage point, it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Most women do not feel comfortable in their own skin. They spend a lot of time explaining to me why their body is not acceptable. I feel the key to making peace with your body is shifting your expectations and perspective. Instead of zeroing in on the specific issues you have with your body, concentrate on making your body strong. See your body as a tool you utilize to accomplish your goals. Get fit, get strong and let the rest go.
Women need to cut down on their daily dose of guilt
Many of you just assume that guilt comes with the roles of worker, wife, mom, and daughter. Although some guilt is inevitable when you lead a multitasking life, many women take this to a whole new level. Feeling guilt becomes a constant in their lives. They fret about the minutiae in their day and constantly feel like they’re letting others down. It becomes so intense that they can’t even see that the person they’re letting down the most is the one staring in the mirror. I believe that they need a reality check from an outsider that can help them see the truth in the situation.
So the question you must honestly ask yourself is, “Where do I fall in all this?” Do I see myself in any of these descriptions? If so, do some work in letting go of these toxic behaviors and becoming the person you were meant to be.