Dear Magnificent Ones,
A student once asked the Buddha, “Are you a god, a wizard, or are you a man?” After much pause, The Buddha merely replied, “I am awake.”
We get so mixed up with what our lives are for. We keep wondering why nothing makes us happy. We get the job we thought we wanted or that amazing car that looked so cool. We followed the rules, bought the house, had the kids, took care of the parents, called friends on Sundays, fed the dog. What we didn’t realize was that we believed that by doing these “things” we would be given a certain amount of good feeling or happiness in return. Where if we don’t betray some outside standard or measuring stick, we will, in return, get something back, a sort of trade.
Many times these things were not what we wanted to do nor did we feel right doing them. We were living a double life, where we are doing things each day but felt torn by our inner callings. We kept thinking that we are missing out on something.
Guess what? We were. We were missing out on our authentic selves.
After all, we’re not going to go into the family business because we’re passionate about it or buying toaster strudels because all the good moms should. You think YOU have to. It’s an unspoken agreement you decided to swallow and incorporate as your own. Otherwise, you would be painting in Tuscany right now!
Does anyone come to your mind? Perhaps there is a friend, a sister or an old flame, who you are trying to impress for reasons you may not be aware of. You may be buying that purse to “prove” that you are successful, finally worthy of their acceptance or better off now without them. Are these standards going to make you feel like you are “somebody” now?
Many of us live out another person’s version of what our life should be, ignoring the promptings of our own inner voice in the process. It’s no surprise then that life can seem to be one depressing day after the next, prompting more people than ever to complain that they are not happy, feeling out of touch and disillusioned. This is a sign that they are right. It’s a wake up call, that in fact, things aren’t right. But You can make a change that will change the projectory of your life forever.
My magnificent friends, we are up against ourselves once again. The only person keeping score is you. Let me repeat this: You are the only one taking score. No one can force you to do what you don’t want to do. All of those people who you think are judging you are just doing their best with the same information that you have.
Your job is to be you. Wonderfully, amazingly, unapologetically YOU. What does that look and feel like? What do you want out of life? Where do you want to be?
Following everyone’s imposed standards without questioning them is like being spoon-fed ideas that you incorporate as you without questioning them. It’s time to figure out what makes you YOU. That’s what we’ve been waiting for! Why?
When we try to please others and not betray them, we actually betray ourselves in the process. This is the ultimate betrayal.
Perhaps it is time to give up the unrealistic expectations that forever keep us on the hamster wheel of life, trying to please others and never disappoint anyone.
By continually conforming to these unrealistic rules and standards, we are missing out on the very life that makes us unique. We are missing out on the opportunity to spend the time and effort needed to awaken to who we really are.
Instead, we long for moments of clarity, conviction or fearlessness, seeing them in others who know who they are and who are not afraid to Be themselves. These people have boundaries that respect others but ultimately respect themselves more. They are in touch with what they want out of life and seem to know how to get there. They are not afraid to be labeled by others because they know who they are. After all, labels are just that: labels.
When you feel that the only way to be considered nice is to remember the boss’ birthday or cook dinner every night, ask yourself if the opposite is true. Do you only consider others nice if they remember to call you on your birthday? It’s time to stop these outrageously unrealistic standards that we put on others and ourselves in order to be seen as nice, worthy, or real.
Don’t misunderstand me, this is not a call to end all good thoughts and deeds. It’s just that when they are forced upon us, then they aren’t right. And they certainly don’t come from the goodness of your heart.
If you feel that you have to DO in order to be considered real, then it’s not authentic and will keep you in bondage forever. These actions are outside of you and will always be an unrealistic standard that you will constantly be trying to meet. And once you do, it’ll be replaced with yet another task. This causes great suffering. And, what’s worse, it goes on every day.
When you finally re-discover who you are and what you want, there is a conviction and an honoring of your truth. And anything that goes against that just feels wrong. It actually becomes easier to say no, to honor those around you with the part of you that wants to be there and wants to be part of something. When you participate in life in this new way, others know you are there by choice, not by obligation.
Chances are you are conforming to what you think you must do in life and chances are you have some dreams you want to live out. The path you choose is your choice.
When the only requirement of life is for you to BE as you are, only then can you achieve an authentic presence, for you will want to do it with all your heart
Your only job is to become awake and aware like never before. It is, after all, what we are here for. It’s what time was created for.
I assure you, you are the only one able to deem yourself real. When you believe it, the world will too. Live your life inside out because whatever is going on inside will ultimately spill out and reflect on the outside. So spend your precious time getting to know your own standards.
Most people will spend their lives as human doings not human beings, which is what we were designed for. Wake up. Become aware of your surroundings and ask yourself: Do the people, places, and things that fill your life reflect who you are?
Be honest with your answer and listen to what your heart says. Act out your inner promptings, honoring the voice within. Feel your fear and realize that you can’t mess this up. Even if you get on the wrong plane, forgot to call your sister, buy the wrong cereal, or burn the toast, at the end of the day it makes no difference. You can always choose what you require for your happiness. You will figure it out. You always do.
You are enough just how you are. Read that sentence again: You are enough, exactly how you are.
It’s up to YOU to realize what you’re up against. You were up against yourself, you were the one keeping score.
Are you ready to stop? Becoming Awake and Aware of your life will only require one thing… BE apart of it. That’s what the worlds been waiting for! A happy, thriving, functional You.
Are you ready?
As you take each step I will be there reminding you of your Magnificence, and I will continue to do so, until you are able to see it in yourself. © Copyright. Jennifer Annenberg Productions. 2013. All Rights Reserved. This publication may not be reproduced under any circumstances without the written consent of Jennifer Annenberg.
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