Live in Love: All My Single Ladies

Live in Love: All My Single Ladies

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During a date I once went on, the topic of conversation itself was dating. His argument in regards to dating was a negative stance. He believed dating was a waste of time, and most likely a drain on financial resources, if the relationship did not end in a successful marriage. I, on the other hand, take the affirmative stance on dating. Subsequently, this may have lead to me ending up on his list of “waste of time.”

My first rebuttal to this argument is that dating helps a person figure out a lot about herself (himself). By engaging so closely in another person’s world, one can be introduced to many situations that she has not experienced before. While I have found many people dread the first date, the only expectation I had was to learn another person’s perspective on life. With such low expectations, I was never let down (minus the dates that I was stood up on). Even if I did not agree with his perspective, I learned something new, and thus influenced who I am today. In addition, romantic relationships are a whole new territory. When you give someone your heart, you allow them the opportunity to hurt you like no one else can. It is imperative to learn how to control these extreme emotions romantic relationships can cause. You also learn important skills in order to have a healthy relationship. Dating can allow you to make these mistakes and perfect the skills on someone who you are not stuck with for life.

Point number two, dating can help you identify what characteristics in a mate that are important to you. In our vain society, there is a lot of emphasis put on the level of one’s physical attraction. One may observe while dating, that the less attractive individuals, put more effort in chivalry and having a good personality, in order to compensate. These amazing characteristics will outlast all of those good looks. Just as one may identify the characteristics she wants in a spouse, dating also allows her to identify characteristics that do not mesh with her personality. It is much better to find this out before making the lifetime commitment.

My third argument is when one dates around prior to making that nuptial agreement, she knows what is out there and APPRECIATES what she has right in front of her. When conflicts arise, as they will, one will not question if the grass is greener on the other side. She already knows the grass is a yellowish-brown, or she would have settled on that turf. Therefore, she is more willing to make the effort to improve what she does have right in front of her.

With these points, I won the argument on that date. So to all my single ladies, my advice is to enjoy this time in your life! Accept dates for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not only will you get complimentary meals, you will be preparing yourself for your successful future of living in love!

Columnist - Jen grew up on the outskirts of Cincinnati. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from The University of Cincinnati and a Master of Arts in Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Jen has a variety of experience in the psychology field; from inpatient psychiatric facilities to courts/detention centers. She has identified the importance of taking care of yourself and your relationships to maintain a healthy and happy life. These experiences encouraged her to open a private practice in Life Coaching, which focuses on parenting issues, relationships, and stress/mood management. Jen is also an Adjunct Psychology Instructor at Cincinnati State Technical and Community College. She helps students not only achieve their academic goals, but also teaches them how they can live healthy lives. Jen's main priority in life, is her family. She has a loving husband and two energetic boys. The information she has learned through her education and professional experience, she has practiced, and it has helped her in the role as a wife and a parent. In Jen's free time, she enjoys playing backyard pickup games/board games with her family; running charity races; scuba diving; trying new recipes (which keeps her motivated to cook for her family); and skiing. These activities help her maintain balance in her life and achieve her creed: Live Happy! Contact her at