Live In Love: Attitude of Gratitude

Live In Love: Attitude of Gratitude

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Growing up on Disney movies may have set us up for failure. In every fairytale, there was a prince charming to rescue the damsel in distress and turn her into the princess; living happily ever after. If those fairytales did not leave us hanging at the part of wedful bliss, you may have seen Cinderella irritated that her Prince Charming left his underwear on the floor. Or Ariel’s bad mood being contagious for Prince Eric. You may have seen Prince Phillip expecting Sleeping Beauty to make dinner even though she was feeling exhausted. But Disney neglected to show that part, and insinuated that we should expect to be treated like princesses. Too bad for us, the boys were more interested in mud wrestling and wrecking hot wheels, instead of taking notes.

 

While we may not be able to achieve the perfect fairytales portrayed by Disney, we can have a deviated version of our own fairytale; maybe something more along the lines of Dreamwork’s Shrek. We cannot EXPECT to be treated like princesses in our relationships, but we can take note on what makes our significant others tick. Men are biologically wired to want to please the woman he truly loves. A good man will work multiple jobs, even dirty jobs, just to come home to a woman who appreciates his hard work. His main goal in life is to make his true love happy. After all “A happy wife is a happy life.”

 

So what is the equation to ensure this treatment in our relationships? Subscribe to an attitude of gratitude. Practicing an attitude of gratitude in any area of your life, even over the smallest things, automatically starts to improve mood, equaling happiness. The more a woman shows appreciation and exudes happiness with him the more effort he will put into making her happy.

 

Now some of you may already be arguing my point. Some women may feel entitled to being treated like a princess, without having to put any effort into the relationship. Others may feel under-appreciated by their loved one and feel they cannot give appreciation if they are not receiving it. While some of you may feel you are too busy with other priorities and not care if you are put up on that pedestal by your love. Ultimately, failing to be appreciative only causes poison to enter into the relationship.

 

Follow this logic. You try to please your boss by going the extra mile on the job. She does not acknowledge your efforts and ultimately complains that you are not doing enough or you are doing a poor job. How would you respond to this scenario? Most humans would quit going the extra mile and avoid the boss at all cost. This is exactly how men respond when they are being treated in this manner. They quit trying and they start to pull away from the relationship. Let us examine the evidence and statistics behind this logic. Most men who give up on their marriage and file for divorce, do so because they “just can’t seem to make her happy.” Ninety percent of men who cheat do so because the other woman is showing him appreciation and emotional support; and not because the other woman is more attractive (Eighty-eight percent of men who cheat say the other woman was less attractive than their wife.)

 

In my book, appreciation for your significant other ranks within the top ten musts for the survival of a healthy relationship. Fortunately, the return on investment is more than worth it. With appreciation he will continue to make effort, treating you like his princess, goddess, (you may fill in the blank), etc; and you both will live happily ever after. The End.

Jennifer Szeghi
Columnist - Jen grew up on the outskirts of Cincinnati. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from The University of Cincinnati and a Master of Arts in Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Jen has a variety of experience in the psychology field; from inpatient psychiatric facilities to courts/detention centers. She has identified the importance of taking care of yourself and your relationships to maintain a healthy and happy life. These experiences encouraged her to open a private practice in Life Coaching, which focuses on parenting issues, relationships, and stress/mood management. Jen is also an Adjunct Psychology Instructor at Cincinnati State Technical and Community College. She helps students not only achieve their academic goals, but also teaches them how they can live healthy lives. Jen's main priority in life, is her family. She has a loving husband and two energetic boys. The information she has learned through her education and professional experience, she has practiced, and it has helped her in the role as a wife and a parent. In Jen's free time, she enjoys playing backyard pickup games/board games with her family; running charity races; scuba diving; trying new recipes (which keeps her motivated to cook for her family); and skiing. These activities help her maintain balance in her life and achieve her creed: Live Happy! Contact her at jennifer.szeghi@cincinnatistate.edu.

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