Live In Love: Saving Superwoman

Live In Love: Saving Superwoman

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Attention fellow superwomen of the modern day, AKA a wife and mother! Have you thought about the various roles we take on every day? We are the CEOs of our homes. We are the counselors for our husbands and kids. We are the event coordinators. We are the chefs. We are the environmental specialists. We are the chauffeurs. We are the homework specialists. We are the personal shoppers. We are the athletic trainers (with some assistance from You Tube.) We are the financial planners. We are the personal masseuses. Exedra! Exedra! Exedra! AND this does not even touch on what various roles our careers demand out of us!

 

There is something innate within us women that we are self-sacrificing. Females are the ones that can multitask as well as multi-think about everything that needs to happen to keep things running smoothly. Case in point “Behind every great man there is a great woman.” We are the people pleasers that want to make our families happy. On date night, we might say we do not care where we go, and be okay with wherever he wants to go, just to ensure our husbands are happy. We may agree to add another task to our daily lists and surrender our plans, again to guarantee someone else’s happiness. Women adapt to what is needed in their family, and while adaptation can be looked upon as a healthy trait in the ability to survive, too much of anything is never any good.

 

We need to remember to have balance in our lives. Men like it when we have an opinion. A man wants to make a woman happy. So tell him what you want and make sure your needs are getting met. Good men don’t mind adapting either. Also, making times for ourselves and engaging in our own hobbies, makes us more interesting people, resulting in a greater attraction towards us.

 

Unfortunately, I have sat with many women who have found themselves in the situation of losing themselves in their marriage. At a point of no longer loving themselves, they can no longer love their spouse. It is a point that is too late for the marriage. These women feel the only way they can find themselves is through individuation and nullifying the marriage through a divorce. Divorce statistics support this as an increasing trend for divorces.

 

Fellow superwomen we need to remember that we are the imperative piece of the puzzle in our family! If we do not take time out for ourselves to get our needs met and enjoy some free time, we will have nothing left to give. And those of you who I am speaking to knows what a catastrophe that would be if you could not give back. Just remember the truth in the quote “If mama ain’t happy, then ain’t no one going to be happy.” To the men who are reading this, make sure your woman is getting time to take care of herself and doing the things she has always enjoyed doing. After all “A happy wife is a happy life.” A woman multiplies the love she is given and gives it back to the ones she loves.

 

If you are finding yourself in this position and feel there is no time to spend on yourself, do not get overwhelmed. Start small. Try spending ten minutes a day doing something you used to enjoy doing. Knowing yourself and meeting your needs will increase your productivity! Feeling refreshed you will gradually add onto this and become healthy for yourself and your relationship! Never forget to take care of yourself and love yourself, and you will live in love!.

Jennifer Szeghi
Columnist - Jen grew up on the outskirts of Cincinnati. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from The University of Cincinnati and a Master of Arts in Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Jen has a variety of experience in the psychology field; from inpatient psychiatric facilities to courts/detention centers. She has identified the importance of taking care of yourself and your relationships to maintain a healthy and happy life. These experiences encouraged her to open a private practice in Life Coaching, which focuses on parenting issues, relationships, and stress/mood management. Jen is also an Adjunct Psychology Instructor at Cincinnati State Technical and Community College. She helps students not only achieve their academic goals, but also teaches them how they can live healthy lives. Jen's main priority in life, is her family. She has a loving husband and two energetic boys. The information she has learned through her education and professional experience, she has practiced, and it has helped her in the role as a wife and a parent. In Jen's free time, she enjoys playing backyard pickup games/board games with her family; running charity races; scuba diving; trying new recipes (which keeps her motivated to cook for her family); and skiing. These activities help her maintain balance in her life and achieve her creed: Live Happy! Contact her at jennifer.szeghi@cincinnatistate.edu.

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