Sex Talk: Too Stressed?

Sex Talk: Too Stressed?

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Sex is something to be enjoyed, a way to connect with your partner and also a way to release certain chemicals in the brain that allow you to feel happier and more relaxed than prior to sex. However, when you are too stressed, thinking about having sex isn’t typically on the radar. To be your best self, it is important to know how to have balance in life. If you are struggling with knowing how to de-stress, try tackling some of these stress management tips.


Acknowledge sources of stress. Do you have relationships that cause more stress than benefit? Try being more assertive or place strong boundaries around them. What about not enough time in the day to get everything accomplished? Maybe there are some things on your schedule you can start cutting back on. Identifying some of those sources of stress and dealing with them directly can greatly impact your stress management.


Exercise. Stress can at times create excess energy. Physical activity can allow the body to use that energy in a healthy way. By allowing the body to use that energy, the body can return back to a more normal state, physiologically. You may also be interested in investing in a stress ball that can help throughout the day. As stress builds, utilizing a stress ball is a way to engage in smaller doses of physical activity and releasing that build up stress.


Have Fun. In the midst of a stressful time, we sometimes forget to disconnect and do the things we love. Think about a hobby or something creative that engages your mind in a different way, but allows you to settle down.


Time. Managing your time can be a huge part of stress management. Having every moment in a day booked isn’t very conducive to a stress free environment. Sit down and make a schedule of all the things you do in a day and how long you think they take you. Then throughout the week write down how long each thing actually takes you. You might want to look over that list and find items that you can start living without, to create more free time in your day to engage in self care.


Procrastination.For those of you who are avid procrastinators, you know how stressful it can be to wait until the last minute to perform a task. This in itself can produce a lot of pressure and unnecessary stress. Try working on that assignment or task a little bit each day, so that it doesn’t overwhelm you when the task slowly creeps up to the deadline.

Sleep. This can be a difficult step, since many people can’t sleep well when they are stressed. Try and get as much of the normal eight hours of sleep as you can. Even one hour of missed sleep can affect your stress, concentration and memory.

Rewards. Taking time to celebrate completing a task can be a great way to feel good about your accomplishments. These don’t have to be big rewards. Think about watching a movie, taking a bath, going for a walk, or even playing a game.

The biggest piece in decreasing stress is relaxation. Relaxing helps the body reverse the stress response. Schedule yourself a massage, attend a yoga class, take a nap or engage in an activity that you find allows you to fully relax. In the end your body will be more able and willing to want to have sex when you decrease your stress.

These suggestions are to help guide you in your journey to living a more fulfilling sexual life. If you are experiencing any sexual difficulties or concerns, I encourage you to seek help. If you have any questions or comments about what you read, feel free to e-mail me at .